Tuesday, May 05, 2015

May 05, 2015

They buried my friend on my birthday.

If we're already going to be blunt though, let's agree that she most certainly feels a lot more alive than I do right now.

*

You want me to smile, Chaya, right? You want me to laugh, don't you? Can we sing together? Can we please dance? Can we play just one more innocent prank? This is all a prank, right? Take away the bad feelings, remind me it's all a trick, a test, a game, a show. Life, death, it's all about the in-between. Your in-between shone and shone, shines and shines, you little blondie, you.

You are sunshine.

Lemme ruffle your hair just one more time. Lemme give you just one more massage. Let's whisper for a few more minutes. And another few. And another few. And another few. And let's stay friends forever and ever, wherever you go and whatever I do, let's still be friends.

I might have to be a little bit of your sunshine now. I might have to double my grins on your behalf. You'll do your half by encouraging me and I'll do my half by smiling. It might take me some time, Chaya, but I'll get it. Remember how patient and supportive I was when you didn't want to take your meds one Shabbos? Friends don't get scared off by these things; friends stick around always.

Stick around, Chaya.

Be sunshine, still.

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