Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Ok, some reminders needed:

Life does not tell stories. People do.
Life provides raw materials. Raw enough for us to look back and construct at least two versions of our own biography—its past, its present and its future: one a prison, the other a palace.
This is the greatest kindness the Master of Life has given us: He has placed His own pen in our hands, so that we may enjoy the dignity of a palace constructed by our own design.

Looking at your world from Above, all is good.
Looking at your world from within, things don’t always look so nice.
Until you connect your world from within to the world above. Then the goodness flows downward without distortion.
How do you make that connection? By clinging tightly above. By putting all your trust in G‑d.

If you did good, celebrate that you have a G‑d who is there with you in your good work.
And if you fell on your face, celebrate that you have a G‑d who does not abandon you when you fall.

Two ways you could write your life:
“I am so small, and I make such stupid messes that even if the Creator of this magnificent universe had some plan for me, by now He must have given up. So I do, too.“
“I am so small, and I make such stupid messes, yet nevertheless the Creator of this magnificent universe will not let go of His belief in me. So neither will I.”

Do you believe only when you can see with your eyes? When your prayers are answered and miracles carry you on their wings? Or do you also believe when circumstances fly in your face?
If it touches you to the core, if it is a belief you truly own, if it is as real to you as life itself, then it does not change.
And if it does not change, then you are bound up with the true essence of the One who does not change.

Everything a human being is given comes in a finite package. Even the tablets Moses carried down from Mount Sinai were defined and bounded.
And so, when G‑d saw Moses mourning over the broken tablets, He said, “Your powers were focused when you smashed the tablets. For now you will receive a Torah you may extend wider than the sea.”
When a human being fails, he shatters the treasures G‑d has put in his trust. But then he cries and picks up the shards to restore what he has ruined.
That is when he discovers that G‑d Himself was hidden inside.
That is when he discovers the Infinite.

[all this from R' Tzvi Freeman's Daily Dose of Wisdom based on the Lubavitcher Rebbe's teachings]

Monday, May 25, 2015

I love when they get lost in their song. There's like that moment when it ceases to be about them but the song, the story, the soul. I'm attracted to souls. Been meaning to write about it for a while, my attraction to humble confidence and quiet strength. I so admire when the person acts only a channel. I long to divest myself of my ego, my animalistic desires and thoughts, words and actions, feelings and motivations. I yearn to be a transparent soul, a clear piece of our Living G-d, His obvious messenger in the physical world. I want to be lost in His song.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

I like Shani

It's super swell to have her in my life.

Thank G-d, thank G-d, thank G-d.

He gives me what I need when I need.

I guess I don't need to be getting married tomorrow, ד' סיון.

Who woulda thunk....

I pass a group of beautiful Jews playing wonderful, soulful, beaty, classy music with various instruments. I am happy. We are getting the Torah.

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Re: My Potential

Hashem, thank You for being so in tuned to my feelings and on top of the matter.

And thank you Tzvi'ke for being His messenger.

The world around you is in shambles—and you are probably no exception. The chasm between what you should be and what you actually are is so vast, you cannot see yourself changing anything.

That’s His job. Your job is to think good thoughts. Your job is to do good deeds.

He will make a bridge from your thoughts to your deeds and together they will become the most powerful instrument of change in the world.

Wednesday, May 06, 2015

Tuesday, May 05, 2015

May 05, 2015

They buried my friend on my birthday.

If we're already going to be blunt though, let's agree that she most certainly feels a lot more alive than I do right now.


You want me to smile, Chaya, right? You want me to laugh, don't you? Can we sing together? Can we please dance? Can we play just one more innocent prank? This is all a prank, right? Take away the bad feelings, remind me it's all a trick, a test, a game, a show. Life, death, it's all about the in-between. Your in-between shone and shone, shines and shines, you little blondie, you.

You are sunshine.

Lemme ruffle your hair just one more time. Lemme give you just one more massage. Let's whisper for a few more minutes. And another few. And another few. And another few. And let's stay friends forever and ever, wherever you go and whatever I do, let's still be friends.

I might have to be a little bit of your sunshine now. I might have to double my grins on your behalf. You'll do your half by encouraging me and I'll do my half by smiling. It might take me some time, Chaya, but I'll get it. Remember how patient and supportive I was when you didn't want to take your meds one Shabbos? Friends don't get scared off by these things; friends stick around always.

Stick around, Chaya.

Be sunshine, still.

Monday, May 04, 2015

Chaya Spalter is my friend.

She's blond and fresh and spunky and full of laughter.
She's got beautiful hair, eyes, cheeks, and smiles, smiles, smiles.
She's alive.
She's got endless energy, a mischievous glint in her eye and the most upbeat attitude known to humankind.

She's Chaya Spalter and her joy will live on.

I will be your student of faith, your student of spirit. I will learn your giggles, your wit, your feisty nature. I will see the world through your light and make the world a place with more light.

I'll keep you here, Chaya Spalter.
I'll massage and give and laugh and prank and you will be here.

Don't forget me and I won't forget you. Deal?

I love you.

Sunday, May 03, 2015

Thank you R' Freeman for reminding me that:

One who has given up hope is without a G-d.

One who awaits liberation each day is already free.