Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Comforting Words of Chassidus, Marked Unread

Each one of us is both the sun and the moon.
The sun is constant—every day the same fiery ball rises in the sky. But the moon cycles through constant change—one day it is whole, then it wanes until it has disappeared altogether. Yet, then it is renewed, reborn out of nothingness.
So too, we learn and progress by quantum leaps and bounds, yet the timeless, constant wisdom of Torah doesn’t budge from its place. On the contrary, the more we move forward, the deeper we fathom the truths behind us

From a letter:
You write to me you are concerned that you no longer believe. If you don’t believe, then why does not believing concern you?

My grandfather (R. Shmuel) asked the Tzemach Tzedek: What did Grandfather (the Alter Rebbe) intend with the "ways of Chassidus" and what did he intend with Chassidus?
The Tzemach Tzedek answered: The "ways of Chassidus" are that all Chassidim are to be like one family, with affection, as Torah teaches. Chassidus is vitality. Chassidus is to bring life and illumination into everything, to shed light even on the undesirable - to become aware of one's own evil exactly as it is, in order to correct it.

There are those who are unable to proceed with life because they have concluded that everything is just fate. We are always thinking in terms of a cause and an effect, that there is a world which is being run and a G‑d that runs it. Therefore, we imagine there is no room for free choice—since He calls all the shots.
But for Him there is no such dynamic. There is no cause because there is nothing to cause, no effect because there is only Him. Whatever happens is Him, and our free choice is also Him.
In our world, there is free choice. In His, there is only Him. You continue living in your world, and leave His up to Him.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

מתוך הסנה: ולא אילן אחר, משום עמו אנכי בצרה 
(תהילים צא טו)

Friday, December 13, 2013

Scrolling through FB messages in pursuit of the Sunday bazaar one and my heart dropped to my stomach instantaneously as my eyes fell upon the one from Russia.

Why heart dropping?
It should be heart lifting.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Daily Doses .. (to get me through "life")

Learning is not about acquiring knowledge and yet more knowledge. Learning is about making quantum leaps beyond your subjective self, about seeing things from higher and yet higher perspectives.

No matter how high a summit you may reach, there is always another peak above. But you can reach that higher peak only when you realize you are still in the valley.

The Talmud tells of Rabbi Zeira, who fasted one hundred fasts to forget all the Torah he had learned in Babylonia before going to study the Torah of the Land of Israel.
These daily doses are just uncannily spot on. True, Torah/Chassidus will be found applicable everywhere cuz that's just what truth does and is, but somehow they are extra precise when it comes to me :D.

Like this one that I got on Friday and discussed with Yocheved. Was a good lesson, reminder.
What will be in the next moment is not in this one now.
It does not yet exist.
It has yet to be created.
When its time comes, then it will be created by the Creator of all things,
out of nowhere, emerging from the void.
There is only one thing that exists at this moment: That in which you are engaged right now.
20 Shevat 5730 (1970)

That helped me to get over the stuff from the end of last week. It'll almost be a week, actually. Tuesday night, I think it was.

This one was more encouraging than disciplinary.
In life, you don’t get all the answers at once.
First you must absorb and live with one simple truth. Then, later, you must find another truth—one that may seem to conflict with and negate all you previously learned.
Then, from that confusion, emerges a higher truth—the inner light behind all you had learned before.
And then the major major one.  That I emailed CS about. Huge stuff. And hugely apropos.
Beyond Faith & Intellect
Kislev 29, 5774 · December 2, 2013

Intellect is inadequate because not all things can be explained. Intellect needs faith.
Faith is impotent because it remains forever obscure. Faith needs intellect.
But they are opposites, as contradictory as being and not being: Faith accepts; Intellect questions. Faith surrenders; Intellect struggles.
Miraculously, there is a power that can join them in harmony, and it is called wisdom: The capacity to see the truth as it is and the quietness to allow it entry without loss.

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Based on letters and talks of the Rebbe, Rabbi M. M. Schneerson    More articles...  |   RSS Listing of Newest Articles by this Author
From the wisdom of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, of righteous memory; words and condensation by Rabbi Tzvi Freeman. To order Rabbi Freeman’s book, Bringing Heaven Down to Earth, click here.

Friday, December 06, 2013

Wednesday, December 04, 2013

Massage Music Twinkling in My Ears

How fortunate I am to work in a calm, peaceful, healing environment.

The shocks and stresses, the dark and bitter and gloomy despair, can peek its head in but cannot stay.

And now, now I hear the flutes and birds even as I sit at home.

"טבע הטוב להיטיב"
G-d is good; hence, all He does is good.

And Chava'le needs no convincing :)

Monday, December 02, 2013

How terrifically apropos :D

והדעת הוא מלשון: והאדם ידע את חוה, והוא לשון התקשרות והתחברות
Daat, whose etymology may be found in the verse,6 “And Adam knew (ידע) Eve,” implies attachment and union.
שמקשר דעתו בקשר אמיץ וחזק מאד, ויתקע מחשבתו בחוזק, בגדולת אין סוף ברוך הוא, ואינו מסיח דעתו
(As applied to Daat of the divine soul, this means) binding one’s mind with a very firm, strong bond and firmly fixing one’s thought on the greatness of the blessed Ein Sof, without diverting his mind from it (i.e., the subject matter conceived in Chochmahand developed in Binah is absorbed in the mind by concentration, Daat.)
כי אף מי שהוא חכם ונבון בגדולת אין סוף ברוך הוא, הנה אם לא יקשר דעתו ויתקע מחשבתו בחוזק ובהתמדה
For even one who is wise (by utilizing his faculty of Chochmah) and understanding(by exercising his faculty of Binah) in the greatness of the blessed Ein Sof, yet, unless he applies his Daat and fixes his thought firmly and diligently on his understanding of G-d’s greatness,
לא יוליד בנפשו יראה ואהבה אמיתית, כי אם דמיונות שוא
he will not produce in his soul true fear and love, but only vain fancies.
He will only imagine that he fears G-d and loves Him. True fear and love are attained only by way of Daat.
ועל כן הדעת הוא קיום המדות וחיותן
Thus, Daat provides the substance and vitality of the middot (and is therefore termed a “mother” of the middot, another parent side by side with Chochmah and Binah).
והוא כולל חסד וגבורה, פירוש: אהבה וענפיה ויראה וענפיה
It comprises Chesed and Gevurah; that is to say, love with those other middot that are its offshoots, and fear with its offshoots.

Sunday, December 01, 2013

2 Most Valuable Lessons Ever

טראַכט גוט וועט זיין גוט and שמחה פורץ גדר are absolutely real and have saved me tremendously.

I must continue to hold onto these two thoughts, these two powerhouses of realities, as they have schlepped me up and carried me higher than imaginable.

Things WILL be good, in the WAY I perceive them as good and it will happen through my happiness! Amen!!

!יאללה, עכשיו אפשר לחגוג. לחיים

Monday, November 11, 2013

Two miracles!

Chedvi's text and Doron's email!

Ha on the one night this year I go to bed at 9:30pm ;)

Any thunder you hear this week is the Laughter of Gd.

Sorry, world; I made a plan.

Thursday, November 07, 2013

I am needle, watch me sew.

Okay, it's time for the needle. 

You are G‑d’s needle with which He sews the many patches of Creation into a single garment for His glory.
At one end, the needle must be hard and sharp, to squeeze through the ordeal. But the other end must have a vacant hollow, a nothingness with which to hold the thread.

With the world, be firm and sharp. Within, feel how small you are before the Infinite.   -Daily Dose by Tzvi Freeman

I am trying to sew a reality of Jewish unity and also a pride in Shlichus. Dearest Creator of mine, please be so kind as to push me through (er I specified "kindly" eh?).

Thanks :)

Tuesday, November 05, 2013



My behavior is appalling. No, not the Johnny type. (Though possibly that too.)

I wanna beat myself up. And I usually run from violence.

What the heck is wrong with me?? Why do I feel like staying in bed the next 2 weeks rather than working on my book?

Is it, perhaps, as Professor Scott explained? Probably.

I feel like a huge baby :((

Before There Was Man

Before there was man, there was a lion.

The lion was gentle and strong. Oddly, many did not care for the lion even though the lion cared for them all. The lion did not know of the grapes flowing on a grassy patch but the lion shared his food and his skills and his soul. He's king of the wild.

Man came, all civilized, and the enamored population all but forgot about the lion. Man was good, so that's okay, but the lion's roar echoed in some hearts. But possibly he was roaring to himself.

And then, thousands of years later (or possibly earlier), a Swedish library houses the birth of recognition.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

4 Word Sentences

Because 4 letters is not polite. (reminiscent of the "I is the ninth letter" joke).

I am really upset.
I am very nervous.
I am so stupid.
I am incredibly irresponsible.
I am feeling vulnerable.
I am feeling disappointed.
I have been disappointed.
I am lacking determination.
I have no motivation.
I feel very overwhelmed.
I feel very foolish.
I am actually scared.
I am also frustrated.
I am crying lots.
I am acting irrationally.
I am not prepared.

But I just remembered that it's the Rebbe's project. Zehu, I'm giving it over to the Rebbe to ensure its success. It was never about me anyhow. The message of Shlichus and Ahavas Yisroel are the Rebbe's messages and therefore the Rebbe will make sure all my characters show up and that everything falls into place.

Ok, new 4 word sentences :)

I feel much better.
I will see success.
I will feel success.
Baruch Hashem for everything.
Everything will be great.
People will have time.
Everyone will show up.
I will remember details.
I will stay calm.
I will spread joy.
The book will rock!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, October 25, 2013


As I said, as I know, as I declared, as we agreed.

Ironic silence after and ironic wistfulness now.

It's all good and like a train, life moves on. 

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Amtrak, where souls meet souls.

My Amtrak, where souls hug souls.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Longest Single Destination Journey

I'm about to embark on what I'm fairly certain is my longest single destination journey*. 30 hours. Of course, India/Nepal comes to mind but that was destined (according to nature) to take quicker. Also, that was super fun and adventurous and entertaining and culturally tsunamic so doesn't quite count.
Ahh, am I not the luckiest gal on the planet??

*barring cheeky possibilities such as "life", "happiness" or the like.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013


What a wonderful world we do indeed live in! Here is the source and additional photos of incredible scenes.

ire Wave - Valley of Fire State Park, Nevada

Milky Way over Joshua Tree National Park, California


Perseid meteor streaking over the lightpainted double arch in Arches National Park.

High Mountain Lakes.. Montana

Edinburgh Castle, Scotland

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Art, the thief

I need to leave the house in 4 and a 1/2 hours for a full day of: donating blood at 8am and then attending a spine assessment bla bla seminar from 9am-5pm.
Before I go, I need to shower,daven, eat breakfast, prepare food for the day, get massage equipment and school supplies.
And I need to sleep. I really need a good night's sleep before such a tiring day and I ought to have prepared everything beforehand but -
Art has grabbed my soul and I must obey its call for ransom.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Oh Barney ;)

“In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland. True story.”

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Talya's Thoughts on Tzion (recommended!)

"Wow. I'm enamored by your delightful and singular writing, paralleled only by your exquisite attitude towards life. "
Was my comment on Talya's latest blog post describing her entry into our Land as an Olah Chodasha. Here is a snippet:
"Unreal only captures the feeling to an extent, but what I can break down of my sleepy nervousness offers me a distant understanding of what occurred. I recognize in awe the tremendous support I felt from my Midreshet people, my friends and my family greeting me at the welcoming ceremony. The dreamlike connection to the excitement of being home falls buried under the stones of anxiety raining down in anticipation of the next 3 days of my entirely Hebrew seminar and the isolation of not joining the IDF with all 125 heroes my age. My body trembles in doubts and aches of the unknown waving hello."
 What a refreshing individual. I wish you much luck, Talya!

Friday, October 11, 2013

A small comment by a great man, "You belong here every week", to a small woman, has made the woman great.

Really just an extension of the class.


Wednesday, October 09, 2013

Reb Eliyahu was seriously ill. The Tzemach Tzedek told him he should move to Eretz Yisroel and indeed he lived another twenty years. Afterwards, the Tzemach Tzedek explained that his illness, if found in a kosher animal, was subject to amachlokes between the Beis Yosef and the Ramo as to whether the animal in considered a "treifa" (not going to live). The Beis Yosef holds that it is not a "treifa, and in Eretz Yisroelthe ruling is like the Beis Yosef. By living in Eretz Yisroel, Reb Eliyahu could stay alive.          

Sunday, October 06, 2013

The Rebbe taught that not only should we make sure that a child never eat without making a bracha, but we should also give him snacks to increase his opportunities for making brachos.
 (שיחו"ק תשל"ז ח"א עמ' 460)

Thursday, October 03, 2013

What if I became a leading expert on massage and autism?

What if I studied and researched and my papers and my success gained acclaim and I'd travel extensively to lecture on and demonstrate the near-miraculous effects that massage has on autistic children and adults, and I'd do it all without a single college degree?

Satisfied and proud to the point of popping, comes to mind.

All my yearnings coming together --

Massage, special education, teaching, writing and traveling.

Gd, lead me on this path...?


Tuesday, October 01, 2013

According to US Census figures, some 414,000 Iranians live in the country, most of them in the California area. 

Monday, September 23, 2013

Reason To Celebrate

If you did things right, celebrate that you have a G-d who appreciates your good work.

And if you fell on your face, celebrate that you have a G-d who does not abandon you when you fall.

*Based on letters and talks of the Rebbe, Rabbi M. M. Schneerson; words and condensation by Rabbi Tzvi Freeman.*

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Inner Peace
Tammuz 12, 5773 · June 20, 2013

The world is a place of constant change and unrest. Each point in time is distinct from the point before and the point after. Every point in space is its own world, with its own conditions and state of being. It is a world of fragments constantly rushing like traffic in anarchy.
Look at your own life: You do so many different things, one after the other without any apparent connection between them.
Inner peace is when every part of you and every facet of your day is moving in the same direction.
When you have purpose, you have peace.

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Yup yup!

Friday, September 13, 2013

Yom Kippur: The Joy and Freedom

Chabad Research Unit – For Friday Night – Sponsored by Dr Reuven Joel.....www.chabadresearch.org – cru@lubavitchuk.com....from Rabbi Dr Naftali Loewenthal.


STARTING VERY SOFTLY, KOL NIDREI BEGINS. IT IS SUNG three times, louder and louder, as if entering a spiritual Palace and coming closer to the Eternal King.
The words of the Kol Nidrei 1 prayer refer to cancelling vows. In 7 th century medieval Spain, Jews were forced at sword-point to swear that they will abandon Judaism. It is said that on Yom Kippur they would gather together and formally cancel any such vows, past or future. They could then pray on the Sacred Day with a clear conscience.
In our modern world today, generally no-one forces us to deny Judaism. But our spiritual frailties often lead us to feel that we are restricted, tied down or trapped in various ways, and therefore prevented from full self-expression as Jews. Such as - “I would like to eat kosher but I must eat with my clients at a non-kosher restaurant...” Or - “I simply do not have the time to put on Tefilin”...
These limitations are a form of ‘vow’, a pledge to the secular domain. On Yom Kippur, in response to our sincerity, G-d dissolves away all these restrictions 2 . Whatever our apparent normal commitments and pledges to material and secular values, on Yom Kippur we are given freedom and can openly express total love and dedication to G-d.
Then, when the sacred day draws to a close, and for the rest of the year, it is up to us...


In the Reader’s Repetition of the Additional Service (Musaf) on Yom Kippur there is a description of the procedure in the Temple on this day.
The High Priest would pronounce the Divine Name which is otherwise never heard. Hearing this, the people would prostrate themselves. He would also enter the Holy of Holies. Yom Kippur is the only day when anyone could enter this most sacred place. The High Priest would go there, as the representative of the entire Jewish people.
Today the Temple does not yet stand again in Jerusalem, but there is a Temple in the heart of every Jew. Each one of us, man or woman, is the High Priest in our own Temple in our heart.
On Yom Kippur we enter the Holy of Holies and make contact with the Divine Power which dwells within us.
The challenge for each person is to find a way to harness this immense power and to use it in a positive way during the weeks and months ahead. Jewish teaching is the guide, showing how the inner Divine energy can be expressed in every aspect of life. Hence Yom Kippur is a good time for making resolutions about strengthening one’s relationship with Jewish teaching and Jewish law. This is the real meaning of the day.
It is a joyous time of spiritual freedom with fresh opportunities to make a permanent step forward in life.

Although we fast, and the mood of the day is serious, Yom Kippur is a time of inner joy.

1. Kol Nidrei (“All Vows..”) is the melodic prayer sung in the Synagogue on Yom Kippur evening. This begins the Yom Kippur service.
2. This follows an explanation by Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi (c.1800), in his Likkutei Torah, Matot 85a.

Monday, September 09, 2013

"S Thomas is like a quarter third world country." --an Island child

The Direct Approach (a story)

I feel like blogging again.
Anyhow, here's the phenomenal story:

Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok of Lubavitch told:

The 'Enlightenment Movement', in their war on traditional Jewish life, were once again plotting to enlist the aid of the czarist government to further their aims. Heading the effort was a certain Mr. Karpos whom the authorities had installed as a rabbi in Odessa. He had prepared a voluminous thesis 'proving' that religion is the number one enemy of civilization and had concluded with the recommendation that the study of kabbala and other fundamentals of Judaism be outlawed. He had then headed to Petersburg to present his 'findings' to the government.
My father received word of these developments and dispatched me to Petersburg to deal with the matter. The purpose of the trip was kept secret: I travelled with my wife, Rebbetzin Nechama Dina, and we made it known that we had gone for a medical consultation.
After several days in Petersburg I had made no headway whatsoever; all my connections and exertions were to no avail. I notified father by telegram that all my efforts to stop Karpos had failed. Father replied that I was to keep on trying.
When several more futile days had passed, I took the train home to personally inform father of the hopelessness of the situation. When I entered father's room he was preparing for the morning prayers; his tallis lay folded on his shoulder and he was examining its tzitzis. I reported the events and failed efforts of the last few days, and concluded that, as I sew it, there was absolutely nothing to be done about the situation.
Said father: "Once Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi sent his son, Rabbi DovBer, on a certain mission. Rabbi DovBer returned empty-handed. When he arrived, he found his father with his tallis folded on his shoulder, checking its tzitzis in preparation for the morning prayers.
"Said Rabbi Schneur Zalman: 'Do you see? This is a tallis. The tallis expresses the level of the Transcendent Light1, and the Transcendent Light blinds all forces of evil.' Upon hearing this, Rabbi DovBer kissed his fathers tzitzis and went back. This time he succeeded."
Without another word, I took hold of father's tzitzis, kissed them, and caught the next train back to Petersburg. Again, I started racking my brains and making my rounds. Then, I had an idea. I went to Karpos' hotel and asked to see him.
Karpos received me warmly - it seems that he had heard of me or of my father. We sat and talked, and I brought up the subject of his dissertation. He spoke readily of his plans. "Soon we will see who will prevail" he challenged. "Soon, we of the Enlightenment will rid the Jewish people of your archaic notions and practices.
"I have already prepared all the material," he continued to boast, "now I have only to make a few finishing touches and it will be ready for submitting. Our czar's ministerial commission on culture and religions has scheduled to review the matter in a few days. Once and for all we shall make our case!"
"May I see what you wrote?" I asked.
"But of course. I have nothing to hide - in a matter of days, all will be decided" said the preening slanderer, handing me his manuscript.
Without a word I proceeded to tear the dissertation to shreds.
Karpos exploded in rage and frenzy. "What are you doing?! My lectures! My notes! Do you know how many months of research and writing are invested in these papers?!" I continued to tear the manuscript into tiny bits of paper. All the while he continued to bellow in rage, to curse and deride me. In his fury, he dealt me a resounding blow across the face.
When I finished with his papers, I ran from the hotel and returned to Lubavitch.

Responsa From the Holocaust

Rabbi Ephraim Oshry served as the spiritual leader of the Kovno Ghetto during the Holocaust. Highly regarded as a scholar, he was presented with many questions about Jewish law amidst the hardships of ghetto life. Rabbi Oshry wrote the questions and answers on scraps of paper torn from concrete sacks, placed these notes into tin cans, and then buried them. These questions reflect the dilemmas faced by Jews in the Holocaust and serve as a historic record of how the Jews in the Kovno Ghetto were determined to live by Jewish law despite the inhuman, horrifying conditions. 

After the liberation of Kovno in August 1944, Rabbi Oshry retrieved the hidden archive and published five volumes of responsa. A sampling of these responsa, taken from Rabbi Oshry’s Responsa From the Holocaust, follows.

Responsa From the Holocaust, written by Rabbi Ephraim Oshry. Translated by Y. Leiman (New York, 2001). Excerpted with permission from the Oshry family.

Risking One’s Life to Join the Partisans

 Every day the Germans would take more than 1,000 people to slave labor at the airfield near Kovno. Whenever they found it difficult to fill that quota, they immediately grew infuriated and swept through the ghetto in a murderous mood to capture additional Jews. This was before they placed the burden of supplying the 1,000 men for each of the two shifts every day on the Eltestenrat (Council of Elders).

When the Germans swept through the ghetto, they would attack unarmed Jews, beat them mercilessly, and do what they could to denigrate them. In the ghetto, every day was worse than the previous one. Countless new edicts were issued to confuse and frighten Jews.

One day a report spread through the ghetto that the Germans had decided to transfer a large number of people to another camp. We knew that this meant a death camp. On the heels of this rumor came a new one. A large number of ghetto prisoners were planning to escape that night to join the partisan units in the forests that were fighting a guerilla war against the Germans. At least that way they could stand up to the enemy.

The problem, however, was that the road to the forest was extremely dangerous. In addition, the ghetto was surrounded by an electrified barbed wire fence—touching it was suicidal—and watchtowers with machine-gun-armed German sentries who were on duty day and night. If all that might not keep the Jews from escaping, a great searchlight lit up the entire area outside the ghetto.

The partisans lacked weapons and, as a rule, they accepted only people who brought their own weapons. This rule increased the risk of escaping from the ghetto. Any Jew found outside the ghetto would immediately be killed by the Germans. But if they caught a Jew with a weapon in his possession, his treatment would be far worse than a quick, simple death.

To add to all these dangers, most partisan groups in the forests had little desire to accept Jews. Anti-Semites themselves, the partisans were fighting the Germans for their own reasons, and a Jew who fell into their “protective” hands more often than not paid with his life.

In consideration of all these factors, I was asked whether Jewish law permitted a ghetto prisoner to risk escaping into the forest in the hope that G-d would help him stay alive.

There seemed to be two approaches to take: Within the ghetto, the danger to one’s life was certain, whereas escaping put new hope into one’s life. The standard ghetto joke the prisoners used to express the certainty of death within the ghetto walls was to call the ghetto dwellers, “dead men on vacation.” In other words, we looked upon ourselves as dead men, whose lives were no more than temporary reprieves.

Even during the periods when there were no Akzionen (roundups), the lives of the Jews in the ghetto were always in peril. For any little infraction, the Germans would shoot to kill. It made no difference whether the German imagined that the Jew had been disrespectful to him, or whether the Jew had a crumb of food in his clothing when he came back from slave labor. The ghetto itself constituted an immediate danger to life, whereas life outside was not as absolutely dangerous. Outside the ghetto there was always a vital element of uncertainty: one might survive.

On the other hand, one could make the following evaluation: Life in the ghetto posed no immediate danger. Other rumors had it that those who remained in the ghetto would come to no harm so long as they worked and fulfilled all the German demands, while the danger to those who escaped to the forest came not only from Germans but also from Lithuanians who either handed such Jews back to the Germans or killed them themselves.

Response: It seemed to me that living in the ghetto was definitely a danger to life. The entire purpose of isolating the Jews and imprisoning them in ghettos was solely to rob them of everything they possessed, to enslave them for their labor value, and then to destroy them physically. On the other hand, escaping to the forest offered the survivor another chance at life. Whoever gathered up the courage and decided to escape did so only after thoroughly investigating and weighing his chances.

From time to time we saw partisans inside the ghetto, evidently getting in—and out again—without trouble. Anyone who wished to join them was given instructions as to how to find his way through the forest partisan hideouts. Although the paths were risky, the partisans obviously survived. Clearly, the accursed Germans’ declaration against the Jews made it obligatory for the Jews to fight back and do to them as they were doing to us.

I therefore ruled that one should not undermine the spirit of those who wished to escape to the forest. Rather, one should encourage and support them, and give them every possible assistance in obtaining weapons and ammunition so that when they arrived they would be ready to fight.

Reciting Kaddish for a Gentile Woman

 During the days of affliction when the accursed Germans mercilessly annihilated young and old, men and women, the Lithuanian gentiles, with whom the Jews had lived for hundreds of years, conspired with the German murderers to kill Jews and loot their property. They sought out the Jews wherever they were hiding and whenever they caught one immediately handed him over to their German masters who proceeded to torture and kill the Jew.

Despite the violent hatred that the gentiles had for the Jews, a hatred which the Germans fanned into a flame of vengeance, there were among them unique individuals who were anguished by the cruelty committed against Jews and would not sit by doing nothing. Whatever they did, though, was done at an enormous risk because the Germans immediately shot anyone they suspected of aiding Jews. Nevertheless, such people existed and they saved Jews at whatever cost.

In 1945, shortly after our liberation, Reb Moshe Segal came to me with the following question: He had been saved by a gentile woman who, at enormous risk to herself, had hidden him in her basement together with ten other Jews, providing them all with food and shelter until the liberation. After the war, when these Jews wanted to repay her in some way for her great compassion, they discovered to their deep sorrow that she had died right after the liberation. The idea took root in their minds to say Kaddish for her, and Reb Moshe Segal was chosen for the task. His question was, Was it permissible to say Kaddish for a gentile?

Response: Basically, Kaddish is a prayer of praise to G-d. When Rabbi Nathan of Babylonia was appointed Exilarch, the cantor used to add in Kaddish the phrase, “In your lifetime and in your days and in the lifetime of our Exilarch and in the lifetime of all the Jewish people.” Similarly, in the days of Maimonides, they used to add in the Kaddish, “In your lifetime and in the lifetime of our master Moshe ben Maimon.”

In this vein of mentioning others in the Kaddish, it is plainly permissible to say Kaddish in memory of the gentile woman who saved so many Jews from death.... Not only is it permissible to say Kaddish with her in mind, it is a mitzva to do so.

Eating Soaked Matza to Fulfill the Passover Mitzva

In the winter of 5702 (1942), several months before Passover, many of the Jews in the Kovno Ghetto began to try to figure out ways to fulfill the mitzva of eating matza on Pessach. At that time even the most basic foods were not available in the ghetto, let alone white flour from which matza is normally baked. The ghetto prisoners ate whatever they could get their hand on because the black bread that was rationed out was never enough to keep away hunger, and the Germans guarded against any food getting into the ghetto.

Precisely because of this plight, people made every effort not to be ensnared by depression or apathy but to retain their spirits and their psychological strength, hoping that the evil forces would ultimately be destroyed and the prisoners set free. Many of the ghetto prisoners perceived that the only means available to them of opposing the will of their accursed German warders was to maintain some form of Torah study, along with keeping the mitzvos so that the Jewish character would not be destroyed.

Toward this end, I organized a small secret group of men who undertook to find ways and means of obtaining flour so that they could bake matzos and fulfill, at the very least, the mitzva of eating an olive-sized piece of matza on Passover Eve. One member of the group was Moshe Goldkorn—may G-d avenge him—a Polish Jew who had escaped the German murderers and found his way to Lithuania, only to be cast into the Kovno Ghetto along with us. This man labored in the Jordan Brigade and came into contact with Lithuanians with whom he could barter for flour.

Our next problem was how to get the flour into the ghetto, since the Germans guarded each one of the entrances, and were especially careful that no food, from potatoes to bread, should get in through the gates undetected.

But Goldkorn took it upon himself—literally at the risk of his life—to locate a source for flour, and from time to time to smuggle a small amount into the ghetto. His joy at being granted the merit of making it possible for Jews to fulfill the great mitzva of eating matza was enormous.

The flour was hidden in a secret place guarded very carefully so that no harm would come to it. Bit by bit, Goldkorn smuggled in enough flour to bake matzos for nearly 100 Jews, each of whom would receive one olive-sized piece of matzo. As Pessach drew nearer, the members of this group, at the risk of their lives, managed to bake the matzos in Block C, die Kleine Werkstaten [small workshops], where bread was baked for the ghetto families. With permission from the directors of the Werkstaten, this group managed to bake all the matzos over a 10-day period after preparing the oven according to Halacha.

But the happiest of them all was Goldkorn, for he had merited the privilege of bringing the flour in, not only for himself, but for the other Jews. At that time, it was indeed a very great mitzva that Goldkorn had fulfilled—providing the means for so many people to fulfill this aspect of the holiday of freedom in according with Halacha, inspiring hope in his fellow-Jews that they might yet live to celebrate this holiday with joy after the defeat of their German enemies.

Two days before Passover, Goldkorn was returning from his labor in the evening. He was stopped by German police and searched. A small bag of flour was found on his person. When the Germans realized that a Jew, despite their strict orders to bring no food into the ghetto, had dared violate their edict, they beat him violently and viciously all along his entire body, but the worst of it was that they broke all of his teeth. Yes this Jew, throughout all of his suffering, accepted it with love for his Creator, knowing that he had made it possible for so many others to fulfill a precious mitzva. Afterward, Goldkorn came to me with a very serious problem. As he spoke, he broke into tears. “With my broken teeth, how can I fulfill the mitzva of eating an olive-sized piece of matza? Since I come from a chassidic family, whose custom is never to eat matza that is soaked (gebroktz) on Pessach, how can I break that custom now? Is there any way for me to fulfill the mitzva of eating matza?”

Response: The tradition of not soaking matza is a stringency. Halacha does not forbid soaking matza. I allowed the questioner to soak the matza in water even though he was descended from Chassidim whose custom was not to eat soaked matza on Pessach—because he had no other way of fulfilling the mitzva, a mitzva for which he had risked his life. I did however instruct him to obtain permission from a beis din of three people which would annul the implicit vow of the tradition of his forbears that he had upheld all his life not to eat soaked matza on Pessach.

After we set up a beis din which annulled his “vow,” he proceeded to fulfill the mitva of eating an olive’s bulk of matza together with all the others who, thanks to him, fulfilled this mitzva. Although his whole body was aching and scarred from the vicious beating the German animals had inflicted upon him, there was no end to his joy and his thanks to G-d for granting him the privilege of eating matza despite his wounds and his broken teeth.

Donning Tefilin Before Bar Mitzva 

Question: In the ghetto hell, we discovered that the main design of the Germans was to strip away our divine image and to show the world that Jews were a subhuman species whose blood could be shed with fear of punishment; that killing a Jew was like killing a fly: not only had no crime been committed, but you had done the world a favor by getting rid of a troublesome creature.

Part of their overall plan to develop a smooth-running machine for the annihilation of the Jews was the effort to instill in their victims a spirit of despondency so pervasive and deep that it would destroy whatever sense of hope we Jews might have, and leave nothing but broken shells to be led like cattle and sheep to the slaughter.

That is why I took it upon myself to encourage and inspire the brokenhearted, to inject within them the spark of hope, the belief that HaShem, the G-d of the Jews, would turn away His fury, heed our prayers, and not leave us in the hands of our enemies.

I organized a group of boys called Tiferes Bachurim, whom I taught Torah and the fear of G-d, implanting in them the seeds for eternal living that would sprout from doing G-d’s will wholeheartedly.

Among the boys in the Tiferes Bachurim was an extraordinary boy from Kovno named Shereshevsky who dedicated himself totally to the study of Torah. Even though he was not yet bar mitzva, he was as precise as an adult in his fulfillment of mitzvos. This extraordinary boy asked me if he might be permitted to don tefilin, despite the fact that his bar mitzva was 3 months away. 

When I fathomed the simple sincerity of this boy’s request, tears gushed from my eyes. I could not help citing the words of the prophet Yirmeyohu, “Who would grant that my head be water, my eyes a source of tears that I could day and night bewail the dead of my nation, for death has come up in our windows, has entered our houses, to destroy the youth outside, our chosen ones from the streets.”

Response: I ruled that that precious child who had such a great desire to merit the privilege of fulfilling this mitzva because he feared that he might not live to fulfill it if he waited to reach 13, certainly had authorization for donning tefilin. I relied on the opinions that permit a minor to don tefilin if he knows to guard them in cleanliness. This was certainly applicable to the Shereshevsky boy who had already demonstrated his fear of G-d and was a Talmud student aware and capable of maintaining the degree of bodily cleanliness required to don tefilin. 

Moreover, since he was three months short of his thirteenth birthday, I relied on the prevailing custom that a boy don tefilin 2 or 3 months before his bar mitzva. 

Although I had ruled that he might don the tefilin even though he was still a minor, I warned him that if he should find himself with nine other Jews who wished to count him as the tenth for a minyan, he was obligated to let them know that he was not yet old enough to be counted into a minyan.

New edicts by the German taskmasters were issued against us every day; especially upon Jewish children. Who could assure this boy that he would ever reach the age of 13 to fulfill the mitzva? This was why he could not wait to don tefilin. 

Friday, August 30, 2013

I ought to write an article about all the possible activities to be done at 4am when you're bored but don't want to end your day.

Eh a thick book, more like it :D

Friday, August 09, 2013

Once Rabbi Beroka asked Elijah,"Is there anyone in this marketplace who has a place in the world to come?"

Two men walked by.

Ellijah remarked "These two have a share in the World to Come."

Rabbi Beroka asked them "What is your occupation?"

They replied,"We are comedians. When we see people who are depressed we cheer them up,also when we see two people quarreling,we strive hard to make peace between them."

(Babylonian Talmud, Ta'anit,22a)

Monday, July 29, 2013

Horrified Fascination

With such, I pursue the photos.

I have to stop stabbing myself with the knives out there.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Blackberry Texts (CCS)

U may wanna stop over at apartment..watercrest soup!
Third world phone!
thank you my dear friend you are connecting me to the joy of life again! is ur mother scared of having too many small grandshimon?
hi do i pick u at 5pm to to go themoishtain?
good u found them! u must stay kfocussed! Let everything moish out! (dont know what it means but it sounds healing)
de nenks
a que hora salen los muchachos?
i just talked with her and said its inmoishble before 5pm!
but im dressed crazy. the bajurim will moish fun of me
ok moishugeneh!


From My Shattered Heart

Tell me where the pieces of your heart are situated
I don't wanna hear that in one place they're all located
This bomb you've dropped upon my soul has got my grief inflated
I hope your heart has shattered too from this volcano you've created.
Who said you can say all this?
yeah yeah
And get away with this?
yeah yeah
You're gonna pay for this.
yeah yeah

You're down.

I'm a lot calmer about this now.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Day 6 of Road Trip

5:45am: Woke up

* Drove to Bryce Canyon Visitor Center to wait for 8am door opening to get tickets for moonlight hike (davened while waiting in line).
* Shopped in local supermarket
* Went fishing in Painguitch Lake
* Drove around town
* Hung out in the Lodge
* Fished again
* Drove to Bryce Canyon (view points and/or lookouts)
* Moonlight hike in Bryce Canyon with stargazing

2am: Time to sleep

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Red Shoes To Shukran

"Nice shoes."
He spoke only after his friend left the table.
"Thank you." I returned.
"Where did you get them from?"
They had been speaking Arabic.
"Israel." I replied with a professional blend of defiance and nonchalance.

Monday, July 08, 2013

If I Had A Lot of Money

I'd get a laptop so I can work in peace.
I'd get my own apartment.
I wouldn't have to worry about ticket prices and flight schedules for hours and hours (and days and days, weeks and weeks. Ye, months and months.)
I'd sign up for boxing or kickboxing even when I'm only in the town for one week of the month's membership.
I'd pay back all my family's debts.

That's the current list.