Monday, August 23, 2010

I realize why I'm feeling like this:

It's cuz I did not want to merely hear that HE was not insulted or offended.
I wanted him to know that there was no intent of insult or offense coming from ME.

Yesh hevdel.

And now, the sucky feeling remains...intensified.

1 comment:

rutimizrachi said...

I once approached a handicapped man, overwhelmed with pride in him that he gets out there in the world and keeps going. I shared my awe and pride with this stranger, thinking I was doing good (or more likely, reacting to him and not thinking at all).

He was furious with me. Of course, he felt patronized and insulted.

I was so embarrassed at my public shallowness. I apologized profusely. It didn't help. (He also had some problems, as you see, with self-acceptance, and forgiveness.)

The point was, I could not "fix" my sense of myself. I think G-d did not want that "easy out" for me.

Now, when I see a handicapped person, I still wince at my unresolved carelessness.

But I also work very, very hard to treat him as a whole human being, with all the off-hand, un-patronizing dignity that entails.