Saturday, May 08, 2010

The (Lame) Crown Heightser

He doesn't know what a seaplane is.
(He probably thinks it's when you SEE a plane. Snort.)
He doesn't even know when Moussia's birthday is.
(And she's FIVE, genius.)
And he probably believes her when she says that she stopped sucking her thumb. (!)
He doesn't know that Tumba is from Tortola. And he probably thinks that Tumba knows his name is from a Yiddish song.
He's so stupid, he doesn't even realize the neighbors know how stupid he is.
He doesn't know which side of the street to drive on. On ANY island.
He thinks Jen and Jenny are the same person. (Hello?? Colorblind?)
He probably thinks the Hebrew School kids come every day.
Itche is not a girl. Talya is in Israel. No, you can't drive to Puerto Rico. You can't even sail there.
He probably thinks The Bridge to Nowhere goes somewhere.
He thinks my toothbrush has the dark blue cover.
He thinks we get supper cooked for us every night.
He thinks LN still works here!
He probably thinks that the girl in Food Center thought I was Jewish.
Lame. Lame, lame, lame.
And stupid.
But it's ok, DL will help you with your flight. She'll sit next to you and take care of you. She'll show you how to buckle your seatbelt and how to put down your tray table. She'll explain that the luggage carousel is not scary and that the signs are all in English so we read them from left to right.
It's ok, bubbele, it's gonna be ok, zeeskeit.


rutimizrachi said...

Even when I don't know what the heck you're talking about, there is a poetic meter to the way you write that makes me enjoy it. Even when I haven't a CLUE.

the sabra said...

Oh wow, you're the best Ruti. That is exactly my point. My crypticness (?) shouldn't be a barrier to appreciating the writing.

the sabra said...

heehee i'm so mishugeneh!!!!!!!