Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Biting My Lips

To prevent biting my fellow.
Let them bleed, my lips.
Better that, than the blood of my fellow's heart...

Ghioroc, Romania

Using Two Hands

To push away bad thoughts.
Once, the 'bad' meant something else.
Then, never imagined the range of bad that 'bad' could take form in.
Now, I just keep my hands free and my mouth clamped tight.

"When you come with cunning, with the Sages' words I'll come running." -Mion N. O. Sentside II Mion E. Fuhlside

Saturday, June 27, 2009


(And the rest I won't write cuz I'm a good person. Pffffff)

Friday, June 26, 2009

"You are the information you consume."

So stated Shais Taub, my new "HeroModel". (Shriki, do NOT take credit. Please.) (Shmuel HaLevi, you can.) He said youch I'm tired I must go to sleep.
No, he didn't say that-I'm saying that now.
I'll write more another time. Yeaaaaaaaaaah right. No no, I really hope I do. I wanna share the story with the Rebbe Rashab's chassidim by the farbrengen of the Frierdiker Rebbe. I wanna write bout hiskashrus and how it connects with the Yud Shevat sicha of the foxes on Har Habayis [Sonia: "....so?" LOL]. Views, Rebbe eyes, learning-yea, good stuff.

We want moshiach now.

-To be deleted n rewritten, b'ezrat hashem- (like har habayis, razed then raised)

this is a messy post, i must say.

oh! and the yerushalmi story. shucks i wanna remember everything.

Gimmel Tammuz (MyYeshivaSummer.blogspot.com)

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Many people are asking me now, "What did you do for Gimmel Tammuz?".

They want to know.

This is usually preceded (or directly followed) by something to the effect of "I just got back from the Ohel, gosh the lines were long and I am exhausted. I am on the way now to a farbrengen (had one last night too) and I went to an excellent shiur this morning. So, what did you say you did?"

I don't think they intend to brag or compare, I think they just want to know.

And I answer-"Me? I davened with 4 Jewish kids this morning. Then I took them to the park. Then we went to an old age home and we sang for some elderly Jewish women. I also washed these children's hands and faces and gave them fresh chocolate cake. Then we played a game and colored on plastic papers. Oh! You mean what did I do specifically in honor of the day? Well, I made sure to say all 12 Pesukim with the kids. I tried to get Daniel to daven. I explained to a 3 yr old and a 4 yr old what it means to write a letter to the Rebbe, and then they wrote it. I prompted Leibel to shout 'we want moshiach now' and I clapped along encouragingly when he sang/demanded "ad mosai, do we have to wait, we want moshiach now, we don't want to wait.'

And then they say-"Oh, that's nice."

And they really think so, but they don't know what that has to do with their original question-what did I do for Gimmel Tammuz?

And I say (as if I hadn't been interrupted)- "And I wore my nice gold shoes in the sand. And I chatted with people I wanted to run away from. And I held the baby even though I didn't want to. And I started learning a maamer. And I said 'oh, it's my pleasure' when it wasn't (and then I spoke to myself till it really was my pleasure).

And then they say- "Oh, that's nice. That's really beautiful."

And again, they really think so, but again they don't know what that has to do with Gimmel Tammuz. (except maybe the maamer part)

And I say- "Wait, I'm not finished. I also chopped cucumbers, stirred green beans, and set out cold cuts and rolls for a bris."

And they say-"Oh, that's nice. But what does that have to do with Gimmel Tammuz?"

And I didn't say they were smug or smirking or provoking. They just want to know.

They want to know? So I tell them.


I tell them 'For me, every day is Gimmel Tammuz."


"Every day, the Rebbe is not with us physically. Every day it's unfair and hard that the Rebbe is not here. Every day in golus is painful. The Rebbe wasn't taken away from me in Nun Daled. The Rebbe is taken away from me each and every day. And 'whichever day does not see the Rebbe, it is as if that day took him away'. It's day after day, month after month, yom tov after yom tov, year after year.
Every day is Gimmel Tammuz for me.
And every day the Rebbe is with me more and more.
My Rebbe wasn't ever taken away from me cuz I (barely) had a Rebbe before then. It wasn't 'here and then gone'. It's the same forever.
And since a neshama can do way more when it is not in a guf, I'm with the Rebbe more than you ever were.
The Rebbe guides my every day; the Rebbe tells me what to wear, what to learn, what to say and what to think.
For me, "Gimmel Tammuz didn't change a thing".
The Rebbe wants me to hold the backpack of a 4 yr old Yiddishe kinde, today like yesterday and tomorrow.
Every day is Gimmel Tammuz for me."

"Ahh", they answer, "But Gimmel Tammuz is not just a random mark of time. It's a spiritual mark of time. It's a yarhtzeit. An auspicious time when the neshama has an aliyah.."

And I burst out - "Aliyas Neshama? Vus fahr a aliyas neshama? The Rebbe has been standing outside of Gan Eden for thirteen years, yes thirteen years now, stubbornly refusing to enter until we are all taken out of golus!"


So what did I do this Gimmel Tammuz?
I tried getting the Rebbe a little closer to his goal.

Suddenly..."This is how he will come"

Rabbi Menachem Zev Greenglass of Montreal related that in the early '50s, he and a few other chasidim were standing outside the Rebbe's room discussing the coming of Moshiach and how it would happen.

In the midst of their discussion the Rebbe's door opened suddenly -- without their being prepared -- and the Rebbe stepped out, explaining: "This is how he will come."

Parshas Korach & Gimmel Tammuz

And they (Korach and his following) converged upon Moses and Aaron and said to them: "Enough! Every one of the congregation is holy, and G-d is amongst them. Why do you raise yourself above the congregation of G-d?" (16:3)

There are those who maintain that they have no need of a mentor to guide them through life. They claim, as did Korach, that each and every individual can forge his relationship with G-d unaided. They argue that since the Jewish faith rejects the concept of an intermediary between man and G-d, they have no use for a rebbe or master.

They fail to understand that the entire Jewish people are a single entity, that every individual soul is, in truth, but a limb or organ of the soul of Israel. Just as each limb and organ of the human body has its function at which it excels, so, too, every soul has its role and mission, as well as its limitations. The 'loftiest' of souls is dependant upon the 'lowliest' for the attainment of the single, unified goal. And were any limb to strike out on its own, detaching itself from the 'head' which provides the entire body with vitality and direction - the results are self-understood.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Death=Ultimate State of Life

To one whose self is his body, death of the body is death of the self. But for one whose self is his love, awe and faith, there is no death, only a passing. From a state of confinement to the body he makes the passage to liberation. He continues to work within this world, and even more so than before.
The Talmud says that Jacob, our father, never died. Moses, also, never died. Neither did Rabbi Judah the Prince. They were very high souls who were one with Truth in an ultimate bond —-and since Truth can never die, neither could they.
Yes, in our eyes we see death. A body is buried in the ground and we must mourn the loss. But this is only part of the falseness of our world. In the World of Truth they are still here as before.


Each Sunday since 1986, the Rebbe would stand tirelessly in a small room near his office as thousands of people filed past to see him and receive his blessing. To each of them the Rebbe gave a dollar bill, appointing them as his agent to give it to the charity of their choice. Once, an elderly woman could not contain herself and burst out: "Rebbe, how do you do it? How is it that you do not tire?" The Rebbe smiled and replied: "Every soul is a diamond. Can one grow tired of counting diamonds?"
George Rohr is a prominent businessman and longtime supporter of Chabad-Lubavitch who enjoyed a special relationship with the Rebbe.
One time, wanting to give the Rebbe enjoyment, he told the Rebbe that on Rosh Hashanah he had organized a beginners' service in his synagogue for more than 130 Jews who had no Jewish background.
"What?" the Rebbe asked, looking at Rohr intently.
Assuming the Rebbe did not hear what he said, Rohr repeated himself.
"No Jewish background?" asked the Rebbe.
"Go back and tell them that they have a background. They are the children of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, Sarah, Rifka, Rachel and Leah!"
The only Jewish kid in his class, a seventh grader on the Caribbean island of Curacao developed serious problems in school because of his minority religious status. Without prompting, the Rebbe surprised the tiny Jewish community of Curacao by sending a pair of emissaries who helped out the family in their distress. Deeply grateful, the boy’s father sent the Rebbe an emotional letter, thanking him for coming to the assistance of “a small Jew in Curacao”. The Rebbe replied: There is no such thing as ‘a small Jew’…a Jew must never underestimate his or her tremendous potential…”
A prison chaplain once brought a group of Jewish inmates to a gathering that the Rebbe held. Before the gathering began, the chaplain received the following message from the Rebbe's secretariat: "The Rebbe does not want the prisoners to sit together. They should be interspersed throughout the crowd." The chaplain was puzzled by the request, especially because he had just gone to great lengths to arrange that the group sit together. One of the secretaries then explained, "The Rebbe feels that if your group were to be seated together, they will attract attention. People will ask who they are, and it will be known that they are prisoners, causing them embarrassment. To prevent this from happening, they should be seated throughout the crowd."
This is a Rebbe. Our Rebbe.

My Rebbe, A Father to All

Even though the Rebbe was so spiritually elevated, he was able to relate to and connect to everyone. He treated each person he spoke to with total focus and attention. I would even say he listened to me more than I listened to myself.

(From "Close Encounters of the Holy Kind" by Yehudis Fishman)

"I don't wanna die until I'm dead and buried in the ground."

And believe me, there are many ways one can die before then.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Monday, June 22, 2009

The (accented) Nile

Is that the only place I can live now?
"A superior quality in the physical is a deficiency in the spiritual."
[The first Chabad Rebbe]

a creek & a waterfall

lee-at, savta, apartment, sadness, guilt, growing up, rachel (with a long a, orange hair, freckles and round glasses), potential, banana cake, twitter, reality, friendship, sick in bed, disgust, recorder, tall green grass n tan boots, bright green kumta, seizures, dumb moves, people who believe in you, climbing mountains (also emotionally), the living room in the old house, the argument in the kitchen, flooded with happy feelings and released tension, walking in the cold to their home, stuck in the airport, confusion, emails, and again lee-at. should i change the title of this post to "lee-at"?


Thanx Esther (n Tzvi Freeman. Er and the Rebbe, of course)

Everyone agrees with all the wonderful advice and ethics written in the books of the sages. Everyone agrees that this is the way to run your life. The only issue each one of us have is whether those words are truly meant for me, or for someone else in another time and another place.

If it is truth, it is meant for you, now, here.

Friday, June 19, 2009

I'm sick of having such holy friends!! :(

The wind's been knocked outta me. I feel shriveled. I just passed on a large size of my heart with that phone call.
The bottom line is: The less people you know, the smaller your chance of meeting up with Death. (Mion D. Preshon)

Sunday, June 14, 2009

But For You

Not for Justice, nor for Peace
Not for kidnapped soldiers' release.

Not for Chenya, sis of m'friend
Not for Hatred to forever end

Not for Approval, nor for Praise
Not for fear of Punishment's ways

Not for Pride, nor for Gain
Not for establishing my name

Not for Friends, nor for Foes
Not for "That's the way it goes"

Not for Health, nor for Death
Not for the 10-year-old's last breath

Not for Logic, nor for Calm
Not for any lasting Balm

Not for Guilt, nor for Respect
Not for anything I expect

Not for Bonding, nor for Souls
Not for any private goals

Not for her father, nor for her brother
Not for any single other

But for You and only You
Your commandments, will I do

But for You and only You

Author: Unknown

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

stupid stupid terrible horrible golus ;(

she's Up There, now

The Lubavitcher Rebbe on Protesting:

I Was Brought Up Not to be Silent When There is a Need to Scream out, and Therefore I Do Not Worry About Damage to My Reputation

"It is absolutely irrelevant whether the protest will or will not be effective. The reason for crying out is not based on the assumption that it will be effective, but rather because the situation is painful! I assume that everyone is embroiled in this matter — but not because they expect to gain any recognition or honor from it; if a person gains anything, he gains the opposite of honor, but I have already stopped paying attention to that!

Someone asked me, how can it be that I am not affected when someone denounces me and calls me names, another person calls me a different name, and a third calls me something even worse? I told him that for me, this is something that has been ingrained in me from my youth. Not that it doesn’t bother me at all, but it doesn’t bother me enough to make me change my approach. That is, when we’re dealing with matters of life and death we cannot be silent! This is a clear ruling in the Code of Jewish Law, based on the undisputed ruling in the Talmud that it is forbidden to remain silent in matters of life and death!

G-d helped me (not through my free will or choice in the matter) in that I was the firstborn son to my father, who became the Chief Rabbi of Yekatrinislav. The situation in the country at that time was, that someone always had to conduct debates in Russian, or to respond to the antagonistic questions and arguments which people would pose. Since I was the Chief Rabbi’s eldest son, the task fell upon me.

Since those days (60 — 65 years ago), I became accustomed not to expect any honor or recognition. If others wish to sit and remain silent, I do not approve of it, nor am I allowed to approve of it, for that is not the way I was raised and educated. I will continue in the path of that education; when the issue at hand is one of life and death, we are forbidden to be silent. This is true even when we know that as we speak (or tomorrow or in two days) people are going to begin slandering us.

This does not affect me — I am not part of this group of defamers, who are only damaging themselves. What does cause damage, though, is when someone else totally misrepresents the issue. We are not concerned here with the prohibition of ingratiating oneself to the nations — we are dealing here with life and death! In the past, we tried to ensure that there be no misunderstanding, by repeatedly stating, writing, printing, publicizing and requesting that whoever wished, should publicize the fact, that pertaining to this issue, there exists a law in the Code of Jewish Law, in the laws of the Sabbath, Chapter 329, which explicitly determines this issue. Notwithstanding this unequivocal position of Jewish Law, it affects him (the Prime Minister of Israel) like water off a ducks back, because he is ‘bribed.’ As we explained above, this approach of not remaining silent, was the education of my childhood. I am not saying that I enjoy this, or that when I am name called, I react the same as if I had been praised. Nevertheless when it comes to action, I am not prepared to alter the path that my father and my father-in-law paved. A path that required me never to reckon with the possibility that the voicing of my beliefs may bring me reduced honor. A path that even required me to disregard an evil decree issued by the gentiles."

20th Menachem Av, 5739 (1979)

Friday, June 05, 2009

Boruch ben Tzipa Faiga
Eliezer Yakov ben Rochel
Alan ben Clara Sue

happiness breaks boundaries