Tuesday, October 20, 2009

They tell me not to react.

They tell me not to react.
"You can't take every death personally", they tell me.
They tell me not to take it so much to heart.
"You need to move on", they tell me.
They tell me not to be so sensitive, so emotional, so attached.
"It's not your brother. It's not your sister. It's not your mother nor your father nor your cousin."
That's what they tell me.
That's what they all tell me.

I tell them otherwise.

I tell them that every boy with a neshama is my brother and every girl with a neshama is my sister. Every Jewish parent is my parent and every Jewish cousin is my cousin.

It's one family.

But they tell me not to react. Well, a solitary and momentary tear is okay. So is a sad sigh and maybe even a bitter curse. A moment of silent contemplation is alright too, but not more than that. No, more than that would be overreacting. And seriously now-you've got to stop overreacting.

Ok, so we can react. Just not overreact.

And who defines the limits? Who draws the border? Tell me-how many tears are permitted and how much contemplation is granted?

"You have to live", they tell me.

Well, so did they. They also had to live. They had to cry (tears of joy) and sigh (contented sighs) and curse (when too many chocolate chips fell into the cookie batter).
They had to be safe and happy, cared-for and healthy.
Yeh, all those things. All those things and more, they had to be.

They have to be.
They have to be all those things.

They have to be here with us, physically.

It's not too late. Redemption?

6 comments:

Mushkie said...

Redemption. Now. Are you talking about the girl in the hit-and-run? The people i stay with used to live on her block.

rutimizrachi said...

I feel too much comment for here. Too many words, and too personal. I'll write you a letter.

Rachel Natik said...

Wow, you expressed it so well!!! I feel exactly the same way and hate when people think Im overacting. I feel like telling them "maybe youre not reacting enough?"
Thank you for your wonderful blog.

the sabra said...

Thank you for your kind words, Rachel Natik.

the sabra said...

I love you, Ruti.

the sabra said...

Yes Mushkie, I was talking about her. But the pain was too strong for the news to be flung so casually.