Monday, December 01, 2008

WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!

Posted by "The Mitzvah Man"

Mumbai - Outrage. Anger. Pain. Tears.
No words.
What can we even say?
How can we fathom a two-year-old who won't see Ima again ad ki yavo Shilo?
How can we comprehend two ehrliche mashgichim catching a simple maariv on business who will never come home?
And how can we even begin to understand the loss of the kedoshim, Rabbi and Rebbetzin Gavriel and Rivkah Holtzberg, who lost their own lives after a holy career of giving of their own lives? And before 30?
Ribbono shel Olam…
Today, we are all Toldos Avrahom Yitzchok Chasidim. Today, we are all Israeli. Today, we are all Chabad. No distinctions. Just Jews.
Perhaps an even bigger tragedy is that it took this tragedy to bring us together.
We might not know what to say. But now we know what to do. Stick together.
Because there was a little house, in a corner of the world most of us never heard of, where Ahavas Yisroel lived.
Now, that Ahavas Yisroel lives on. In our houses. In our hearts. It must. The victims would have it no other way.
What to do? Carry on.
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Because if we become afraid, they won. If we are crushed, they won. If we remain depressed, they won. If we let this destroy our lives, they won.
If we do the opposite, we win. And they lose.
So let's win. Let's continue. Let's march forward. Let's continue doing everything we always did.
But let's do more than that. Let's give more tzedakah. Let's learn more Torah. Let's be more tolerant, less dismissive, of each other.
Let's fight darkness with light.
We did it for the past two days. We can, we must, continue.
Above all, let us not be afraid. Let us hold our heads high. Let us walk the streets victorious. We are Jews. We are one. We are proud. And they can never destroy us.
They have death. We have life. They await the Gates of Hell. We embrace the gifts of Heaven.
They have Al Qaeda. We have "al tira."
Forward! March!

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The above is an article I took from the popular website www.vosizneias.com right after Nariman house was cleared!
"Nariman House Cleared!" I saw written on ibnlive. 'Cleared' in my mind meant that the Shliach and the Rebbetzin... Two holy souls who dedicated their entire lives to spreading light and goodness in the world, are crossing the Chabad House threshold alive and well, proudly proclaiming to the world the victory of a nightmarish 48 hours of terror.
But cleared on the Indian television meant that the building had no more terrorists left... Unfortunately my hopes were not to be - I know I should never write this ever. It undermines my extent of Bitachon. But frankly, I don't care right now. I am so upset -:
- My hopes, that the Rebbe would take care of his dedicated Shluchim and keep them alive throughout this ordeal were not to Be.
- My hopes that Rabbi Holtzberg would be the keynote speaker at the next Kinnus Hashluchim, inspiring all with his story of Mesiras Nefesh during the seige and how the Rebbe was there for him were not to be.
- My hopes that 2 year old Moshe Holtzberg would be able to see his parents again were not to be.
- My hopes of a miracle (A miracle on my terms) were not to be.
...
Instead, the sickening nature of the world takes over and I sit here by my computer in New York city crying.
I don't even know this Shliach and the Shlucha!! But I'm crying nonetheless. Really crying!! I love them both. I love them so much!!!! I wish I would have known them better!!! I wish I would have been able to jump in front of the bullets when they were being aimed at these angels!!!! I would die to be able to ensure these pure people live on and continue inspiring and shining...(Perhaps it's just false emotions... Again, I don't care right now!!!)
...
Indians! Indians!!!! This Indian nanny is my hero. I want to meet her and tell her how much she will continue to inspire me every moment of every day forever!
Now, more than ever. I want to be a Shliach of the Rebbe. It makes no sense. I want to go out and spread a thousand times more light than anyone could ever do, because I am so proud to be a Chossid.
Why am I crying uncontrolably??
2 days of buildup and then this!!
I have so much anger right now. Questions to Hashem. Questions to the Rebbe. I won't write them down, because I will look like a heretic if I do.
Dare I say, I'm so upset at Hashem and the Rebbe right now... But I love them so much. I want to go out on Shlichus so badly right now!!! I want to go out and be a proud Shliach of the Rebbe to the whole world!!
Merkos! Rebbe! Hashem! Give me something! Give me a torch!! Let me do it!
I will go and write a song for this...
Good Shabbos hearty blog

posted by the Mitzvah man! at Friday, November 28, 2008

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