Wednesday, October 15, 2008

A Real Ben-Gurion Moment

My stomach is hollow.
I am twisting and turning, fidgeting and fumbling.
I try to feel calm but I can't. I NEED to get in already. I NEED to be in the land. I NEED to be free!
I try to appear casual but really, who can remain indifferent at a time like this!?
One by one, one by one..the lines are moving along.
I watch the passengers ahead of me. I gaze longinly at the ease with which they glide past the counter. Do they realize what it means to get in? Do they appreciate the fact that they've been allowed through? Do they know how badly I yearn to be on the other side and how difficult these last moments are for me?
My line straggles forward.
It's my turn.
I look straight ahead.
I answer all the questions, express all the right sentiments, make all the motions and walla! amidst warnings and wishes, apologies and explanations, he lets me pass.
He. lets. me. pass.
I cross the impenetrable invisible iron barrier of air and I'm in.
I'm in!
I'M IN!!!
Tears in my brain, a laugh in my body and weakness and energy flood my soul.
I glance behind me, suddenly frightened that they will take away my right to be here. Nobody looks my way. I'm relieved.
I think of kissing the ground. I dismiss it, though, wanting to save it.
I'm in. I'm in.
I'm shaking.
I'm trembling with gratitude, disbelief and utter relief.
I'm in.
Thank You, G-d. Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!
I'm in. I'm really in.
Oh yes, it's good to be back!

7 comments:

rutimizrachi said...

You have captured EXACTLY how I feel, each time I am forced to leave the Land, and then am permitted to return.

Does this mean you are here? Or is this a flashback to an earlier time? If you are here, call.

the sabra said...

I'll email :)

הצעיר שלמה בן רפאל לבית שריקי ס"ט said...

Ah, that's the Zionist spirit! Anyway, you're a sabra..you would rot outside of Israel..

One thing I think is cool though is that everybody always clapps when the plane lands in Israel, and nobody does when it lands in New York...

the sabra said...

Huh? Why does everyone think I'm back in Israel?

The Babysitter said...

wow, sounds amazing, helps me understand a bit how people love Israel so much.

the sabra said...

:)

One sec, you didn't understand before? Hold onnnnnn! You have LOTS to read on my blog before you go on your way, my friend. Shall I direct you?

The Babysitter said...

Sabra: that would be great help if you can direct me!