Tuesday, September 16, 2008

First Impressions

Dinner Table

Father: Today's Rambam talks about a Kohen Gadol. Who knows what a Kohen Gadol is?
Eldest: Um I think I do.
Father: Well, let's see-who was a Kohen Gadol?
Middle: Aharon HaRishon.
Father: Aharon HaK...?
Middle: Aharon HaKodesh!
Youngest: (laughing because the adults are)
Mother: Well, that's true. He WAS very heilik.
Middle: So, if he was always holy did he have to wash his hands in the morning for neggel vasser?

The Little Prince: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

The Sabra: I'm staying.

14 comments:

Der Shygetz said...

BS"D

Rebbe in Creedmoorer yeshiva:

Ok, heint mir lernen fin der arba misois byse din - today we's goink to lern four ways to get rid from someone:

Ver kent vus zenen der arba misois byse din?

Yidel the Yold: Skiing, surfing, hanging and hurting?

Rebbe: Vus? Di idyot, di yikel, di zitz in kless end does gurnisht end den you enfer like an idyot? I use from you to show der kless vus iz de first fin dem end det'z skila!

Yidel: Please may I have another chance? Dey zenen der elektrike-kisse, a shot det kills, shnadden arup der kop in hengink?

Rebbe: (SCREAMING) Dis iz nisht Amerikanishe historiye, yikel! Dis iz der hylige Toyre! Allemen kim mit mir outside!

In dis iz skila:

(he throws Yidel off a cliff) Kless, nu, varf stonez oder I mach skile fin all from you!

(The class throws stones at Yidel who lies lifeless at the bottom of the cliff).

OK now, who iz wantink to see if we did it recht?

(The whole class volunteers to jump off the cliff)!

Oy, such a git kless I've got dis year! Allemen, JUMP!

(The teacher looks down to see his entire class lying limp and lifeless at the bottom of the cliff!)

The teacher calls the principal to show what a great job he did with disciplining his remedial class, not one of whose members has sat still for a minute until today.

Needless to say, he is told to take over a few more classes...

A sick, demented and exaggerated parody of the situation in chinuch today......

es said...

Can we make an only English rule on this blog? Yiddish comments give me migraines. I can't think that hard. And Chava don't stay TOO long.

mishmum said...

(Oy der shygetz and Es. not really getting along. Good, Es. may you never get along with a sheigetz.)

Now re the exchange:
Did the parents not realize he was saying that because of "Aron kodesh"?

But ya, if that will make you stay, then fine.

Der Shygetz said...

BS"D

Hmmm..es and I sure are getting off to a great start (because she is taking me seriously LOL).

Det iz nisht Yiddish - det iz hymish, also known as gibberish, Yinglish etc. If you send me $999.50 via Paypal I will send you an automatic online Hymish-tzi-English dictionary!

the sabra said...

Mishugeneh. Be careful around my close ones, eh?

Mishmum, yes they realized.

the sabra said...

Aliza, that's another way of saying thanx for the book ;)
-
I thought that was an incredible line of reasoning for a four year old.

Chaya Y. said...

the little prince?

aliza said...

chav, my great pleasure. and my great pleasure at being able to type it!! i'm back!!

Pennie said...

little prince - def on the list of faves ......and if you happen to know any sabras out there - i've got it in hebrew - stam, case you ever meet one

the sabra said...

What does "stam" mean?

Pennie said...

woops - left out the "p"...i meant stamp

the sabra said...

;P

the sabra said...

hehe that was funny and random of you chanie :D

the sabra said...

ahhh
'vegia

...memories...