Friday, August 31, 2007

shabbos in amsterdam

its cooler to say holland but i just fell on my tush so theres a reason why im stickin to the 'dam word...

i bet that wasnt apropriate but thats ok. neither is fallin flat on ur tush down the steps into the rain.

so there, we're even :)


p.s. 18 Elul

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

"It was my first time visiting Auschwitz. I saw the gas chambers, the death wall where thousands of pure people were coldly shot, the crematoriums....At the end of our tour, the tour guide scanned our faces and asked us, 'Are there any questions?'. There was no response. He waited a moment and then asked again, 'Are there any questions?' It seemed as if there were none, as if all was clear. Suddenly, a young woman sitting near me rose to her feet. She looked directly into the eyes of the guide and in a quiet yet steady voice asked 'Are there any answers?' "

Please say tehillim-

Ruchoma Aliza Sara Chana Bas Esther Liba
She is a 4 year old girl that was missing for 20 minutes and found at the bottom of a pool.
She has been moved to a hospital and is on a respirator as she can not yet breathe on her own! YOUR tehillim is still necessary!!! Please pass onto as many people as you can as her condition is still critical!

~~~~

I got this email today. Please don't forward, but rather copy and paste so that it may actually be read. Unfortunately, we are much quicker to forward funny emails rather than one's for people in need of a refuah shleimah. I'm not asking that you forward this to a million people but please do forward it to a few. It takes an extra minute but can really make a difference.
Remember this is somebody's sister and friend.

I've been checking my inbox pretty constantly, but I haven't gotten an email about this yet. Maybe no one's written one. Maybe someone has but it just hasn't reached me. Either way, every minute counts, so I feel a responsability to write. Emails are pretty heartless - they're typed on computer screens. If this were written on paper, though, it would most probably be illegible from being dripped with tears. My friend died on Friday morning. She was in a horrible car crash where the car she was in skidded off the highway, hit a pole, and flipped over. She and another girl were thrown from the car. She died right away. Her name was - is - was Toby Eagle, from Baltimore. 20 years old. Young.

We were roommates in Chicago. I should tell you all about what a wonderful, incredible person she was, how full of life and joy, but at the moment I just really can't do it. It's hard to write in past tense about someone so special to so many people. I'm writing about the other girl who was injured. She's in extremely critical condition, I think internal bleeding in the brain. She's only 15 years old, and while Hashem already took Toby back to Him, we can still fight to keep the other girl here in this world.

Her name is Meital Habousha, from Crown Heights. They've changed her name to Orah Meital bas Bella. Please daven for her. Say some tehillim.
Give a few coins to tzedaka.
Pass the email along.
For her, it's not too late.
We should only hear good news.

Malka

Saturday, August 25, 2007

I absentmindedly walked into a pole.

Not to worry though, he graciously accepted my apology.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Czech it out! We is Polish!

Ye so we thought that if we looked a bit less touristy, the Polish market place folk wouldn't rip us off as much. So we spoke in broken English and discussed our cleaning equipment (between whispered hushes of harsh sentiments against the 'enemy'). It didn't work. We Kraked ourselves up though. Hehe, twas Nice. Not so Rome-antic necessarily, but that was bseder (everything is in it, yknow).


A Gutten Shabbos World. You are at my (filthy) fingertips :)

p.s. I'm so glad that we are Firenze again :)

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Hope & Trust

Hope is when there is something to latch on to, some glimmer of a chance. The drowning man, they say, will clutch at any straw to save his life.

Trust in G-d is even when there is nothing in which to hope. The decree is sealed. The sword is drawn over the neck. By all laws of nature there is no way out.

But the One who runs the show doesn't need any props.

(daily dose..)

doesnt really feel like hungary. only without the 'a' maybe.
yknow things are really bad when we dont even mention the cathedral.
hmmm.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

smellin' in arad (not the israel one)

(but the romanian one)

On the train ride here (from Venice), I sat near two Israeli teenagers. We spoke a bit about Chabad, Nefesh Elokis, Rabbi Akiva...

Daniel, 18 yr old Israeli, says "This is the longest conversation I've ever had about Judaism. The longest time I even sat and LISTENED to someone speak about it".

We had been speakin for not more than an hour probably. Oy.


(tonight is tuesday night--that means bed AND shower! yayyy. so far i haven't done more than three days at a time bli miklachat. and im not plannin on tryin it either)

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Rome Is Where The Heart Is...

( it gets worse/better :D )

Tamid Yesh Tikvah*

so don't let it get to you that u say tefillas haderech every time u leave ur hostel. not ALL cowgirls get killed (i mean k-i-l) when they go out candle shoppin. and besides the greek hotel malach has the hats now, so we're definitely safe. (even without our pakistani savior).

(to be continued eventually..when my stomach aint growlin, my shirt aint stinkin, my eyes aint closing, my internet timer aint tickin, my train aint chuggin)


*currently my favorite music track. (ita claims its illegal to use the word 'current' here considerin its comin outta her ears by now. yep, together with tuna, kisses and cathedrals.)
buying tomatoes from the market = good idea
going to sleep on the floor of the ship = good idea
going to sleep on the floor of the ship and using ur bag of tomatoes as a pillow = bad idea

Thursday, August 09, 2007

(only cuz i can)

οκ σο ιμ ςριτινγ νος ςιτη γρεεκ λεττερσ βθτ ιμ τυπνιγ ασ ιφ ιτσ τηε σταρνδαρδ κευβοαρδσ. ιμ λοωινγ ιτ. τηισ ισ ηθγλευ μαν. ι ςονδερ ςατ μα ςαντεδτ οα σκ με. κ ι βεττερ ηθρρυ οφφ ψθζ ιτα ςαντσ το γο. ηευ σομε οφ τηε ςορδσ αρε τηε σαμε. λικε τηε. ανδ αλσο λικε. ανδ ιτα. ςαλλα σομεονε μιγητ ξθστ φιγθρε οθτ ςηατ ιμ σατινγ. νοοοοοοοο. ηεηε. σταααααααααμ. ομγ νος τηατ ΡΕΑΛΛΥ λοοκσ ρεαλλυ (σηθψκσ, τηατ ισ αλσο ρεαλ λοοκινγ)

τοω ανι ζαζα. ηεηε ανι λοοκσ λικε αωι.

δαση ψηαμ μ'πατρασ (ανδ λεωι, ι αμ ΝΟΤ ψραζυ!!)

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

If I But Move a Step

Bari, Italy (mercoledi 8 agosto 2007)

its cute to visualizza my blog in italian

ahlan. (excuse the arabic, i met an egyptian just before who i befriended solely in order to cut his place in line. it worked. thats basically how we livin these days--gettin hold of friends in high place (or those w/ cars, money, strong muscles to pick up suitcases for us and of course, a good spot in line...). so that was in the building for tickets for the ship to greece. yup, urs truly (and her smelly tunaloaded escort--no names (ok fine, ita) are the proud and poor owners of a ticket (each!) to patras. beat that. or dont. its all about winning. (about US winning)

talk about winning, we got free motorcyle rides around the police station before. ok so our hands were handcuffed and we were blindfolded but yo! free motorcyle rides!

talk about hands, i finally got myself a fanny pack and i can use both my hands nowwww. its sucha great feeling. i keep admiring myself in windows, i feel like a pregnant woman strokin my belly kacha. ita says to always carry heavy things so u appreciate the light things after. i disagree. kinda like our disagreement about the wisdom of spendin three bucks on a teeny bunch of grapes so u can appreciate the 1.16 the next time.

so yesterday our train from nice to milano arrived 16 minutes late and we missed our connecting train to bari. so we hopped onto a beautiful Eurostar heading to Napoli and made ourselves at home in first class. our theory? if ur already breakin the law, you might as well do it all the way.
when the conductor came we just spoke really confidentally (and stuffed the europass book as far down in our sacks as we were able--after all, it says IN ENGLISH, more than once that those travelin on the eurostar gotta pay more moola. but more moola and us are as terrible a match as our roommates at the Durante and us were. (ita got pics. i forbid her to post em anywhere.)

ahh. i just gotta pause for a second, breathe in and out deeply and smile. a contented one. my stomach is full and my stash of food is also. the beauty of buyin fruit and leavin ur melba toasts for emergencies. (derech agav, torna a elenco di post). o so we both learned a bit of italian on the train ride here. it was great. as we were talking, we charmed some ppl outta their seats and had somewhere to sit. uh for the last five minutes. but still! see we got to bologna (no trains from napoli/naples to bari then) hung out there, then seated ourselves on the train goin to bari. problem is that our reservations were for another train. so we didnt quite have seats. there WERE some friendly offers (/shleps) in some compartments but we wisely rejected em (see ma, were responsible. hey, stop laughing!). so we went from car to car and every time we got comfortable, wham s/o comes in ''eh that's my seat. its reserved' (show offs!) anyhow we finally settled ourselves in an innocent compartment (''you amigos?'' ''eh MORE than that'' gulp), i say shema, italiano is fascinato by my chitas and starts lookin thru. i am reminded of the el savador incident....'' what does this say?'' ''ata tipesh v'ata lo maivin klum'' ''oh wow, and what does that mean?'' ''And G-d said to moses 'split the sea!''' LOLLLL i was HOPIN he'd ask me to read it to him. i think ita warned him not to. she had enough from the harry potter reading, i guess.
talk about readin, we met the AWESOMEST girl who is travelin for ONLY 8 months this time, and she lent us her bible (aka lonely planet, europe guide book) and ita sat there for hours, mizkenah, copyin down vital info. except it was all the info we could easily get at the tourism office. but nu nu. at least it kept her busy and out of other peoples luggage (full story another time)
so every time we need help w/ our luggage (approx every 2 hours i'd say) we let out a big sigh and look around helplessly (only if there are shayach ppl in the vicinity) and if no one gets the hint, we start panting and grunting till s/o helps. it always works. well except for the time we accosted two french policemen at the bottom of the stairs and with a huge grin we told em ''merci for taking our stuff for us upstairs'', and eppes they didn't go along with the plan.
kinda like the guy in the old city in Nice (with a lowercase 'n'). we asked him how to get back to our place, he whips out his GPS and after tellin us how far it was we did the whole ''oh boy are we tired'' spiel. didn't work. so then we decided to see how many times we can fit in the word 'drive' in one sentence. some examples include (but are not limited to--even with a EuroPass)--''my brother DRIVES me crazy''. ''o u were in that amusement park? its a ten minute DRIVE from my house in the states''. ''i have this burning DRIVE to see romania'' ''she DRIVES me up the wall''. nothing helped. again, ita got pics. im glad we have the same style of shots. maybe ill post some.

wow my eyes are burnin from tiredness. not sure if it was clear, but we traveled an awful lot last night. from compartment to compartment, that is.
nu nu.
not as tired as our first day though. we started off monday morning with one hour of sleep under our belts. (which reminds me of my pouch!! i love ittttttt BH!) that probably explains why we are laughing and giggling and chuckling and roaring (not the lion kind) most of the time. its good. better that than crying when u see ur train pullin out as u are pullin in. or when u find out that ur ship only leaves at 12:30 on sundays. (its wednesday today)

so ya, that's that. now i gotta see what i can do about uploadin pics/emptyin my camera (guess where my camera is right now? yup u guessed it! my fanny pack!)

many smooches from junie b jones, from the italianos in the alleyways and l'mafreah (thanks again for that btw. and yes im doin good bh. currently, in a revealed way. hope its always that way. for e/o) from the capital city in honduras...or in the near future-when a similar need for a solo room arises :D

moshiach now!

emergency tehillim

ora maytal bas bella

(and aron yossef ben chana esther)

Monday, August 06, 2007

search for a doctor (canceled)

i was searching for a doctor
a good one
one that would know everything

cuz first i had a problem
and i beseeched Gd to remove it
and then it dawned on me i need to go to a doctor

so i went to one doctor
but advice was given from only his point of view
he knew muscles

so i went to another doctor
but advice was given from only his point of view
he knew stomachs

so i went to another doctor
but advice was given from only his point of view
he knew spines

so i went to another doctor
but advice was given from only his point of view
he knew feet

so i went to another doctor
but advice was given from only his point of view
he knew bones

so i went to another doctor
but advice was given from only his point of view
he knew hearts

so i went to another doctor
but advice was given from only his point of view
he knew skin

i was searching for a doctor
a good one
one that would know everything-skin, hearts, bones, feet, spines, stomachs, muscles.

but that was a problem
it dawned on me that i gotta give up on doctors
and i beseeched Gd to remove it


remove it, Gd


(draft)

Thursday, August 02, 2007

asdfghkjl;

זוהי המדינה היחידה שבה...

זוהי המדינה היחידה שבה
התפוצצו כבר טילים מעיראק
קטיושות מלבנון
מתאבדים מעזה
ופגזים מסוריה

ועדיין דירת שלושה חדרים
...עולה יותר מאשר בפריז

זוהי המדינה היחידה שבה
שואלים כוכבניות פורנו
מה אומרת אמא שלך

שחקני כדורגל באים למגרש עם
אבא כדי שהוא יצעק על המאמן


וביום שישי, כשהולכים להורים
כל אחד יושב בדיוק באותו כסא.
.שבו ישב בגיל חמש


זוהי המדינה היחידה שבה אנשים
, שבאים אליך בפעם הראשונה
"?שואלים אם "אפשר לקחת מהמקרר


המדינה היחידה
שבה כביש חוצה
נגמר לפני החצי


ורק פה, אם כבר מדברים
קיימת יחידת זמן הקרויה
." אני אגיע בין תשע לשש "

זוהי המדינה היחידה
שבה ארוחה ישראלית
, מורכבת מסלט ערבי
, קבב רומני
פיתה עיראקית
וקרם בוואריה
שזה מחוז בגרמניה
אנחנו כנראה אוהבים לאכול אנטישמים.

זוהי המדינה היחידה שבה הביטוי,"אני לא הפרעתי לך
משמעו
שאני רוצה להפריע לך


ורק פה בגיל 18
עוזבים את הבית
ובגיל 24 עדיין גרים בו...

זוהי המדינה היחידה שבה
אפשר לדעת מה המצב הבטחוני
לפי השירים ברדיו.

ורק פה אף אשה
,לא מסתדרת עם אמא שלה
אבל בכל זאת מדברת איתה
,שלוש פעמים ביום

זוהי המדינה היחידה שבה,
בדייט הראשון שואלים את הבחורה
איפה היא שירתה בצבא.

והמדינה היחידה שבה
מתברר שהיא היתה יותר קרבית ממך

וזוהי המדינה היחידה שבה
בין היום הכי שמח
ליום הכי עצוב
.יש בדיוק שישים שניות

זוהי המדינה היחידה שבה
רוב האנשים
אינם מסוגלים להסביר
,למה הם גרים דווקא בה

אבל יש להם המון סיבות
.למה אי אפשר לגור במקום אחר

זוהי המדינה היחידה שבה
, אם אתה שונא פוליטיקאים
,שונא פקידים
,שונא את המצב
,שונא את המיסים
שונא את איכות השירות
,שונא את מזג האוויר

!סימן שאתה אוהב אותה

(translation):

This is the Only Country Where…

This is the only country where
Iraqi Scud missiles exploded;
Katyushas from Lebanon,
Suicide bombers from Gaza,
Shelling from Syria,

And still a three-room flat
Costs more than in Paris…

This is the only country where
They ask porno stars “what does
Your mother say?”

Where professional soccer players
Come to the field with their dads,
So they can yell at the coach.

And on Friday night, when we
Go to our parents’, everybody sits
In the exact same chair they sat in
When they were five.

This is the only country where,
When people visit you for the first time
They ask “can I get something out of
The fridge?”

This is the only country where
A cross-country highway
Ends before it crosses half the country.

And only here, if we’re already talking,
There exists a unit of time called “I will
Arrive between nine and six.”

This is the only country where
An Israeli meal consists of
Arab salad,
Romanian kebabs,
Iraqi pitah,
And Bavarian Cream
(which is an area of
Germany).
It seems we like to eat
Anti-Semites.

This is the only country where
The expression “I didn’t bother you,
Did I” means that I want to bother you.

And only here, at age 18
We leave home
And at age 24 we’re still
Living there.

This is the only country
Where you can find out the
Security situation according
To the songs on the radio…

And only here, no woman
Gets along with her mother;
Yet she’s on the phone with her
Three times a day.

This is the only country where,
You ask a girl on the first date
Where she served in the army.

And the only country where
You find out she was more
Combat than you were!

And this is the only country
Where, between the happiest
Day and the saddest day,
There are only 60 seconds.

This is the only country where
Most people can’t really explain
Why they live here,
But they have a million reasons
Why they can’t live anywhere else.

This is the only country where,
If you hate politicians,
Hate clerks,
Hate the ‘situation,’
Hate the taxes,
Hate the quality of service,
Hate the weather,

It’s a sign that you
Love it here!



1. look out for the Paris mention
2. good job lady light (copypastin takes effort!)
3. that is a link to a FANTASTIC and small tribute to my land.

======

Douglas MacArthur
- "We are not retreating - we are advancing in another direction."

======

Hunter Green and I look good together :)

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

dash cham m'tzarfat

i know that if im up i ought to write up the mrsima episodes, one and two but i too tired..
instead, i present a challenge to you all.

whats my favorite month?

winners get a free tour of paris, a tremp home in the miracle car (medical insurance included), and a plate of french fries (thats a hint to my favorite month)


mm, close ur jaw :)


====

SCRAPS IS ALSO A WINNER...details to follow..unless they are pickpocketed