Thursday, November 30, 2006

As if in a movie
short story or poem
my legs flexed and carried my body
unknown
i walked mindlessly
all the time conscious
just how mindless my walk really was.
the tears on my cheeks
were hot and many
and i couldn't bother wiping them away
cuz the winter chill
contradicted.

i was shaking and bubbling
my hurt and my anger
not sure which one was stronger
but pain is pain
and emotion is motion
so instead of going home
i walked in the dark
and i came to the spot
where not long ago
i sat with the child
us two on the floor
we sat with our coats
our coats and our boots
we sat on the rocks
wet and with mud
and i threw one in
into the water
i watched it soar
i watched it fall
i watched the rock go 'plop'
'here' said i, not long ago
to the child on the floor
'now you try one
and watch it go plop'
and he grabbed at a rock from the floor
he threw it with energy
he threw it with purpose
yet it landed oh so near
the rock did not make it to the water
the rock did not go 'plop'.
he tried again, again and again
yet every time as the first
he had such concentration
such might, determination
yet every time he failed
so i held him up high and gave him a few
thinkin this way hes sure to win
but alas once again
the rocks that he threw
fell just a few feet from our spot
i saw his frustration
i saw how unfair
i saw that we needed to act, to change
so i scanned all the forest and to my delight
i found oh the perfect spot
'come little one' i urged my small friend
'come let us make it go plop'
and we found a ledge where the water did flow
right underneath us you see
it was not far and stretched out beyond
no, it was right there at our feet
i gave him some rocks that i had grabbed just before
the edges, my palms are now red
and i watch as he throws with equal 'mination
though its failed time and time before
and i watched as this time
the rocks that were thrown
made their clumsy and graceful way
into the air, as low as before
but this time
i
heard
it
go
plop.

and we left that place
the young boy and i
each will a smile so pleased
our walk oh so jaunty
our souls calm and happy
and a tip of the hat
(if i'd had thee)


so i came to the place
where id sat with the boy
just a few hours before
and i lunged for the rocks
that were wet on the floor
without really knowing my mind
and i threw those rocks one
by one and some more
i threw them with purpose unclear
but as the rocks fell
each with a 'plop'
my volcano started to clear
with each fall of a rock
my hands trembled less
my fury a bit more gone
each plop that i heard
each plop that i made
calmed my shaking soul

and then i had two
just two rocks in my hand
pebbles so small, insignif'
i didnt feel ready to throw them away
to let go of it all at just once
so i took a deep breath
and smiled and looked
all around me in the dark
i froze the picture in my mind in my heart
i froze it in my soul
i carved the scene
the lessons
the plops
i carved it into my being.
and i whispered words
of the holy and ever
to change my wave
to change my whole being
and then i felt strong
felt secure, confident

and threw the last two in the water.


and the plops are with me still

8 comments:

Nemo said...

I hear that yoga is very settling. It might be better then letting your rage out dropping rocks.

Scraps said...

But maybe throwing rocks in the water IS her form of yoga?

anonym00kie said...

you helped him get his plop.. thats not such a sad thing to do..

aliza said...

good work chavitchkele

the sabra said...

thanks aliz. im not sure if you mean the writing or the throwing but ill take it for both ;)

and im wondering...are you the only who would be able to understand this...?

anonymook-no, it wasn't. it was a very good thing, as a matter of fact.

lirridum said...

ur cool

the sabra said...

wow the lack of emotion on the web, enabling things like ´ur cool´ to be read in so many different ways...

the sabra said...

Wow I'm back. How strange!