Sunday, November 26, 2006

Adam sauntered into a clothing store.
A saleswoman accosted him-"Can I show you our brand new pants?"
"No, thank you", said Adam, "I don't need any pants, I have enough now. As a matter of fact, I don't want any of your clothing. Thank you very much though".

A week later, Adam is back in the store.
He accosts the saleswoman-"Hi, can you please show me those pants that you offered me last week?"
"What?!", exclaims the incredulous saleswoman, "But but you said last week you don't need any!"

She asks him desperately, "should i listen to the old adam or the new one?????"



sigh

16 comments:

actuaryess said...

how dare she think there's an old and a new

wandering said...

Ok, remember how you told me you would explain to me everything on your blog? So now is a great time to start... Who is Adam?

the sabra said...

me

Scraps said...

Maybe it's up to Adam to decide which Adam (s)he is...

saleswoman(man) said said...

nice try

but here's the TRUE story

Salesguy ("SG") comes knocking at the Adam's residence. Adam isn't home, so Adam's wife--chava--opens the door.

SG musters up his best salesman voice and exclaims: "girl, do I have the most amazing pair of pants for you! Their lightweight, will keep you warm in the winter and cool in the summer. And i'll even give you no money down for six months, and no employment verification required! Its an offer you can't refuse!!

"How dare you try selling me those pants!" bellows a furious Adam's wife. "Last time I tried putting on those pants, I broke both feet, got blotches, boils, and pimples all over my arms and finger nails, and my hair turned purple! And I even ended up for a week in the Hostpital psychiatry unit. There's no way i'm gonna buy them."

Ms. Adam then slams the door in a shocked SG's face.

A week later Ms. Adams accosts SG in shul-"Hi, can you please show me those pants that you offered me last week?"

"What?!", exclaims an incredulous SG, "But but you said last week that they are defective and caused you untold suffering!"

He asks her desperately,
"s h o u l d i l i s t e n t o t h e o l d s a b r a o r t h e n e w o n e?????"



oy vey



story postcript: SG doesn't want to hurt Ms. adams, but he still believes he's offering Ms. Adam the deal of a lifetime, so he offers to let a third party ascertain that the pants won't cause further damage. But instead of accepting his thoughtful offer, she subtly vilifies him on a public forum.

hmmmph.....

p.p.s.-i personally agree with the old adam

the sabra said...

ya ya, i knew the saleswoman would come all huffy and puffy...

let's try the story again.
actually, let's not.
vilifying on public forums may lead to drastic consequences (pants sold to neighbor?) and we'd like to stay far away from that.

er just one correction-(ms) adam thanked and rethanked the saleswoman and never said a bad word bout her and certainly never said that (s)he wouldn't think about an additional pants assessor.

p.s the hospital psychiatry ward stay had nothing to do with the pants. that's a whole nother maiseh.

sabra said said said...

adams wife had actually left the door wide open...once in a while she had closed it gently..but she kept peekin thru the window....when she finally realized that hey, she might actually need those pants-twas the freakin salesperson that did the bellowing.

get your facts straight, (censored due to lack of derech eretz to the FRUM life bichlal)


p.s. adam didn't really change his mind. he just wanted the brand name. that's all.

sheesh.

Anonymous said...

what the #@%$!#$%#@$%^ are you guys talking about? sabra? saleswoman? salesman? whatever you call yourself? is there some kind of espionage thingy going on here? is the sabra in cahoots with the taliban? secret code?

baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

what what what what what what is this all about??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

the sabra said...

a) please don't curse on my blog
b) even in um sign language hehe
c) we are talking about salespeople
d) i call myself sabra
e) the sabra is not in cahoots with the taliban
f) the sabra founded the taliban
g) i am not quite sure where the sheep sentiments came from, but i will definitely validate your desire to express them
h) it is about keeping secrets from anonymous commenters.

have i answered all your questions satisfactorily?

elchonon said...

Its actually very very simple.

See there were 2 adam's, pre eitz hada'as adam and post eitz hada's..

During the time he was in gan eden he was in a state of complete spiritual purity and did not know sin or shame.. therefor he was naked hence he did not want or need pants!

But after eitz hada'as it says "he became ashamed when he saw his nakedness" since he sinned he was no longer on the high spiritual level and needed clothes!

Azoi!

the sabra said...

ha, nice...but bichlal no connection to the real story.

eh maybe not BICHLAL actually

elchonon said...

Well then he's just bi polar.

elchonon said...

Besides, no where in the story does he tell the saleslady that his name is adam... how does she know?

elchonon said...

Besides it does make perfect sense! I had over 25 pairs of jeans and then a week later I had nada! and bought regular pants.. so you see ZE HEGYONI!

the sabra said...

where do you see that she knows his name?

o well, you're not signed up for these comments.

the sabra said...

Hehe this was great-I love how I answered that anonymous commenter freaking out. How do I come up with these automatic responses? "I'm not in cahoots with the Taliban. I founded the Taliban." Heehee!

(now cuz of the kite runner and apache, taliban has new meaning)