Sunday, June 04, 2006

the night after amona

When I came back from Amona, the hardest thing for me to feel and say that night, was the following:

Master of the Universe! I hereby forgive anyone who has angered or vexed me, or sinned against me, either physically or financially, against my honor or anything else that is mine, whether accidentally or intentionally, inadvertently or deliberately, by speech or by deed, in this incarnation or in any other-any Israelite; may no man be punished on my account. May it be Your will, Lord my G-d and G-d of my fathers, that I shall sin no more nor repeat my sins, neither shall I again anger You nor do what is wrong in Your eyes. The sins I have committed, erase in Your abounding mercies, but not through suffering or severe illnesses. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable before You, Lord, my Strength and my Redeemer.
(first paragraph of kriat shema al hamita)


And yet, I did.
I had to.
If I want to be forgiven by G-d, then I must be prepared to forgive man.
And I knew with absolute certainty that when this tefillah was created, they did not intend for any exceptions. They had known of the Inquisition, of the
chappers, of the Kappo and they had known of Amona.
So, I asked Hashem to forgive the magavnikim, the yassamnikim, the soldiers who laughed at us when we passed, Olmert, Sharon and all those who played a part, however minor, in "amona".

Now please, Hashem, forgive us. Without exception.

9 comments:

Nemo said...

We do not forgive Nazis and Inquisitors for doing what they did. We do not forgive anyone who has taken a Jewish life purposely, especially not Non-jews. That's how things like the Holocaust happen.

And when it comes to Jews, who says we have to give unconditional forgiveness? We despise their actions even if we can forgive them. We certainly don't make ourselves a weak sheep by giving in only to allow them to have an easier time the next time.

the sabra said...

for starters, i was only talking about the jewish traitors throughout history. obviously.

secondly, what does unconditional forgiveness mean? yes we must still love these jews while pitying them and hating what they have done. and yes, the minute that one of these wrong-doers sincerely asks for forgiveness, shall i grant it. obviously.

this has nothing to do with weak sheep. this does not mean hug them and sing songs with them and cry on their shoulders.

it means that if/when they ask to be forgiven, i shall do so with a whole heart.
why? cuz thats what i want Hashem to do for me.

and lastly, i did not create this tefillah. interestingly enough, it was one of the first times i had actually said it. perhaps thats why it had such a lasting effect on me. shaken up as i was, i could only turn to G-d.

socialworker/frustrated mom said...

Forgiveness is very hard, and once it is done it is such a good feeling.

kasamba said...

Good on you!
It takes a very strong person to forgive.
In that zchuss may we merit moshaich!

the sabra said...

amen amen amen amen.
moshiach moshiach moshiach moshiach moshiach now
amen amen amen

Chasidishe Shaigitz said...

To forgive, but not to forget!

Kol hakovod for having such ahavas yisroel, I doubt all people are as willing to forgive as you are, but even for those who are willing to forgive, one must never forget what kind of people we are dealing with, what they have done and what they are capable of doing... I'll leave it at that.

Mimi said...

Who are we to forgive our fellow man? We are nothing. G-d forgives. That's the key.

Powerful experience.

Thanks, Sabra.

Rafael V. Rabinovich said...

May be someday, when it is all said and done, we'll be able to look back and forgive. For now, the thing is not about holding grudges, but about seeking justice. Tzedek tzedek tirdof. If we let Amona go like water under the bridge, it will -- rachamana litzlan! -- happen again.

the sabra said...

this has nothing to do with justice or fighting another planned expulsion.
this has nothing to do with accepting what has happened.
oh no.

this has to do with forgiving anyone who took part in the ghastly nightmare of amona THAT ASKS FOR FORGIVENESS.

if ch"v another 'amona' would happen, i would be there. yes sir! and this time with something metal to defend myself.


i just want you to imagine coming back from that balagan and then being 'forced' to say that paragraph (of shema). if im saying it, i have to believe it.