Tuesday, April 04, 2006

why i dont miss israel

My hand doesnt have to strain anymore to kiss all those mezuzahs all over the place
I don't have to shlep my camera with me everywhere, all the time!
I stopped eating all those fattening israeli foods-shwarma, falafel and all that ice cream...
I am not exhausted from staying up all night listening to a soldiers account of his refusal to expel jews from their homes
No more nosy and noisy people shouting at you for not wearing a coat in this freezing weather!
There are no well-meaning but oh so irritating Jews offerring you candles, brochures, help or knowledge.
I can earn so much more money now. Enough to plan a vacation sometime next year. Somewhere exciting. Maybe Israel? Maybe India?

And finally, it's quite a relief to to be in a country where everyone speaks the same language!



[snort]

8 comments:

wandering said...

how terribly insincere. I can help you think of a few better reasons then that... for starters you get to see all your lovely friends and relatives....

the sabra said...

SLGNSOIG&%£)(;NAG90niasd;86095298*%£-0895629halkmngiaj93u28oihg

Nemo said...

I miss chocolate milk in a bag.

I miss knowing that EVERYWHERE is in walking distance.

I miss being the only english speaker on the 402 Bnei Brak bus.

I miss being amongst the 40 out of 44 passengers that do speak english on the Bet Shemesh bus.

I miss guns as a fashion accessory.

I miss the beach and the Kotel in the same day.

I miss the cab drivers.

I miss trying on pants which were always smaller and tighter than the size on the label.

I miss the hangouts.

I miss the holy sites.

I miss being laid back.

Oh, and I miss amba...

wandering said...

lol sabra I was waiting for that reaction. ;)

wishes outspoken said...

When I was in Israel I couldn't imagine myself living anywhere else. But when I returned to the states and readjusted to the "normal" life somehow it became a more and more distant memory. Of course I will always miss the things that are special about the land -especially that special feeling of "home"- but the life without all the hassles is very appealing when you're living it.
I wonder why it is this way. Isn't the grass usually greener on the other side?

Scraps said...

I miss a lot of the things that nemo said, and more. I can't wait until I can go back again... *sigh*

Sabra, are you going back to Israel?

the sabra said...

wishes, what hassles?
scraps, DONT ask me. please. thanks. wait, too late u just did. ok, DONT ASK ME AGAIN. thanks.
nemo bemo, ya ya i miss that too. obviousllllllly. thats why i chose sarcasm. tis the protest of the weak. (or so claims mr knowles). i cant handle thinkin that im not there now. but then again, i think that israel has attached itself to my insides so firmly that no matter my location, i still feel like im in israel. huh? just trust me. what i DO miss with a burning uncontrollable fire, is the warmth and heimish atmosphere everywhere. new york just doesnt quite give me that. nu nu. mach duh eretz yisroel, eh eli?
wandering, ach you know me too well. im gonna read ur journal now. in the studio actually. two famous fribbers.

the sabra said...

nemo, forgot to mention-achla list! b'emet!
was laughin for most of it. especially readin about those tzachtzach pants ;)