Friday, July 22, 2016

When She Goes

Will they say of her, when she goes, that she was never really here?
Will they say that while she was everywhere, she was really nowhere?
Did everything but nothing?
Plowed, planted, even reaped but never tasted her crops?
Will she taste her crops only once she goes?
Will they say of her, when she goes, that everyone knew her but nobody did?
That she smiled, laughed, joked and cried with all but always all alone?
Will they miss her if they never had her?
Will the world miss her if it never had her?
Will they say of her, when she goes, that she finally found her place and her home? 

I didn't convert my license cuz I knew I had tons of time and then I left.
Hashem loves me.
Regardless of what I see :)

It's OK To Cry

It's OK to cry.
It's good to cry.
It's good that I am crying.

It's OK to be crushed.
It's good to be crushed.
It's good that I am being crushed.

It's OK to be overwhelmed.
It's good to be overwhelmed.
It's good if your overwhelmedness makes you feel crushed and makes you cry, cry out to G-d.

Monday, July 04, 2016

In the words of the Gemara: "If the elders tell you to destroy and the youngsters say to build, destroy and don't build, for the destruction of the elders is actually building, and the building of the youngsters is actually destroying."

(from an article by the brilliant r' aron moss )

Sunday, June 26, 2016

G-d Is G-d

Was, Is, Always Will Be.
Revealed, Hidden.
Harsh, Kind.

G-d = Good

Friday, June 17, 2016

Belief, avec Cody

"That's cool. Well, that's cool and that's not cool."

"Whatcha talking about? What's cool and not cool?"

"Well, it's cool that you stick to your religion but it's not cool that you lose business over it."

"Hey, if I believe in G-d enough to listen to His rules, then I definitely believe He's not gonna make me suffer cuz of it."

(chuckle) "You're right."

Monday, June 06, 2016

No Perfection Available

"You have to begin with the knowledge
that there is nothing perfect in this world.

Our job is not to hunt down perfection and live within it.
It is to take whatever broken pieces we have found
and sew them together to create beauty."

-Tzvi Freeman

Oxygen for my soul.

"Hi, I made Aliyah."

Friday, May 27, 2016

The Good Life

Bose headphones and Alaska and loud music in my ears,
Stuffed Koby and a wooden desk and movies of good tears.
Words to write up any day, moment or mind-shift,
Smiles, jokes and inner rock for every mood to lift.

I'm blessed in my hunger, on my blankets and my all.
And I've just been reminded every leap comes from a fall.

Calm Fire

a calm fire is in my soul
raging without sound or rage
jumping leaping totally still
bursting out with peaceful will

dance, black hats, dance
reach out and take the joy
sing your songs of years and yearn 
teaching all what they don't learn

speed and heat, frenetic power
there here there here where
raging without sound or rage
a calm fire is in my soul

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

The Date of Moshiach's Arrival

If it was golus, we'd argue over time zone truths, secretly at best, openly and ferociously at worst.
But it won't be golus, so we'll all happily, peacefully and gracefully agree without anyone feeling rejected or compromised.

O how sweet Redemption will be. How very sweet indeed.

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Some (of the zillion) Stuff I'm Grateful For

My sneakers and my laptop. My room. My desk. My window to the street. My job. My students. My coworkers and my free use of the copy machine. My free use of car, wifi, washing machine and dryer (all big sizes). Nice weather to hang up clothes outside. Free pool nearby. My boxing gym so close and cozy. Souvenirs from a million places. Having been in the coolest places. Backpacking trips, with and without friends. 3 day camel trip in the Rajasthan desert of India. Dressing up like locals in Marrakesh, Morocco. Villages and like-villages and freezing mountaintops in Azerbaijan. Full day ice climbing in Matanuska Glacier in Alaska. Amtrak train across the USA. My ability to write. My smile. My glasses. My hair. My friends and my cousins. My fingers and my toes. My seforim. My chavrusas. Having lived all over the world. Eretz Yisroel. Eretz Yisroel. Eretz Yisroel. Having a Rebbe. Having the Lubavitcher Rebbe as my Rebbe. Having a dollar from the Rebbe. Getting guidance from the Rebbe. Blessed and cherished and loved by Hashem.

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Fights I Like

War and fights and struggle, I like. External, but that's rare to come without internal too. Comedy and history are nice but it's the drama of battle that lures me. I don't like violence or death or pain. I shudder and turn away and block it out. But soldiers and boxing champions are something else.

You'd think I'd welcome a break from the battlegrounds but nope. Is it cuz it's the only thing that resonates as truth? Is it cuz I get motivated and inspired? Is it cuz I feel comforted to recognize it's not just me? Is it 4:36am and I have to go to sleep?

Wednesday, April 06, 2016

Real Fights

That moment when your gangster boxing teacher asks you what was the most dramatic thing that happened in your elementary school where you work, and you answer, "when the students break their inner  nature", and you get a priceless look of confusion as to which bone that is and what weapons were used to achieve that.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Fighting the Fight

"I once told someone I'll fight until my body falls apart," he said tonight.

"It's happening," we said at the same time.

"Stop before you kill yourself," I said.

"I need the money," he said.

"You wanna be rich and dead," I half-asked, half-said.

"Yup," he said.

I sighed.

"And I'll leave all my money for ... the people I don't even have," he said.

"Oysh. Don't make me so sad for you," I said, and punched out the next combo.

What a nation, are we.

We would LOVE to you have all Ladies (you and your friend and friend's friend!) for Shushan Purim seudah and Pesach meals in Shmuel Hanavi Maalot dafna area. In general we are often available and love to host for shabbosim as well and we do have 3 sleeping spots when they are claimed early.  For shushan purim seudah  everyone brings a dvar torah or inspirational story. Spread the word and be in touch!!!!!!!:) 

See, now getting an email like that makes my heart feel like it's gonna burst.  They left their email address and phone number, I'll give em to you if you pass my security clearance. 

Monday, March 21, 2016

My Mission

Everyone's got a mission in life.

For some, it is to marry, raise children, and establish communities.
For others, it is to babysit those kids so the parents can carry on with what they need to do.

We all have a mission :)

Sunday, March 20, 2016


".תספר לי קצת על שדרות. תגיד לי משהו מענין על העיר שלך"
.ככה אמרתי לנוער בן 12 שפגשתי בשדרות היום
.יש לנו קסמים," הוא ענה לי מיד"
.זה הדבר היחיד שיש לך להגיד לי!?" אני שאלתי"

-פתאום חבר שלו מצתרף בשיחה
"?מה, אין לכם קסמים אצלכם באמריקה"
.'סימנתי עם הראש, 'לא
"....הילד הראשון פנה אליו, "כנראה יש להם רק גרד
Four Gates
Nissan 27, 5775 · April 16, 2015

“Judges and officers shall you appoint in all your cities…” (Deuteronomy 16:18)
Think of yourself as a city. You have four magical gates: The Gate of Seeing, the Gate of Listening, the Gate of Imagining and the Gate of Speaking.
Magical gates, because an Infinite G‑d enters your finite city through these gates. An infinite G‑d who cannot be squeezed within any place or boxed within any definition, but chooses to dress neatly in a wisdom called Torah—and these are your gates by which wisdom may enter.
That is why all the world competes to storm those gates. They want you to see the ugliness they see, hear the cacophony they hear, imagine the nonsense they imagine and speak without end. And then, you will desire all they desire and no room will be left in your city for that Infinite G‑d.
You only need master those gates and the city is yours.
Maamar Shoftim 5729.