Thursday, April 16, 2015


Jab! Cross! Hook! Right upper cut! Left upper cut! Right hook to the body! Right hook to the head! Left hook!

And whatever other celebratory punches this news deserves :))))

Cody told me, after I thanked him for getting me to where I am, that it's because I listen. And he enjoys teaching people who listen. Unlike, wait for it, wait for it, ahhhh I can't even say it, it's too exciting and relieving after all my angst cuz of him ahhh yayyy thank You Hashem for this little gift before I bid farewell once again to my #1 boxing place.

Thursday, April 02, 2015

I love how suddenly so many of the garbage bins and recycling bins in my neighborhood can't close.
They're soundlessly shouting Pesach.

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Sunday, March 08, 2015

Last Attempts at Evil

A chasid once observed, "We see the forces of evil in the world insistently gaining strength. The reason is that we are now so close to the Redemption. When a wrestler is thrown to the ground and realizes that his opponent is about to overpower him, he summons every last shred of strength in a desperate bid to rally himself. The very fact that evil in the world is putting up a desperate struggle, in itself testifies that its end is near [for when Moshiach comes, according to the Prophets, evil will no longer exist].
(From From Exile to Redemption)

Monday, March 02, 2015

Bךש נךש נךש נךןבי נךןבי נךןבי

Then I'm gonna read that in a million years and not know what it says hehe. But that doesn't really matter because anyhow everything is understood differently in a million years.

Friday, February 27, 2015

"No lamp is too lowly, and no lamp is too lofty, for the lamplighter and his pole."

- Yanki Tauber,, on the mission of the Jew, the lamplighter.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

מוח שליט על הלב

My mind can speak to my heart and remind it that of course the Rebbe is thinking of me and caring about and for me. This must be the work of the yetzer hora who is trying to bring me down, using cruel tactics of cooling the fervent belief of the drowning fellow calling out in Yiddish to be saved. Okay, so I'll replace belief with trust. Belief was a dollar, a video, a sign. Trust is when the letter says you're a lump for people to pass by, you laugh and say no I'm not.

I can choose self-pity and then defiance or resignation, depression etcetera, or I can choose to be connected to Above so I don't fall below.

This post is my trust connection.

No, I don't feel encouraged.

The letter made me feel abandoned actually. Acknowledging my present state but not blessing or encouraging it seems to me a resigned acceptance with instructions to others to move on.

That's really sad.

At least I get points for crying for real twice in one week and it's only Monday.

We're off to a smashing start.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Today I Cried

It was during Shemoneh Esrei when I burst into tears.
Choking sobs, loud, deep and heart-wrenching.
I looked down and saw my siddur was drenched.
I tilted it to let the pool of tears slide off and then changed my mind.
Let my tears wet these words of prayer.
Let G-d see and collect my pain.
My thoughts are not always with You but here, take these tears that I offer but to You and do what You need to do. Go on, now. Do it.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

"Mine says" version 2.

Last year, this shook me up. Excited and then saddened me. This year, boruch Hashem, it didn't, doesn't. Actually, it does. But in a good way. A better way. Walk the palace.

FridaySh'vat 235703
Torah lessons:Chumash: Yitro, Shishi with Rashi.
Tehillim: 108-112.
Tanya: From this the intelligent (p.97) will be explained later. (p. 99).

Once, as the Alter Rebbe stepped out of his room, he overheard his wife remarking to several women, "Mine1 says..."
The Rebbe said: "With one mitzva I am yours; with how many are we G-d's!" With these words he fell onto the doorpost in dveikut.2 On "awakening" from the dveikut he said:"Go out and see"3 - to step out of self and perceive the Divine, comes from (the following words in that verse) "daughters of Zion," Malchut arousing z'a.4 The Future will bring the fulfillment of "A valorous woman is her husband's crown."5

Usually I have cereal with my yogurt, but today I had yogurt with my cereal.

PS. I'm supposed to be writing my profound Chassidic essay that will impact the entire world, for $10,000.

Wednesday, February 04, 2015